Mascara is an essential part of my everyday routine. It should be a part of yours too! Mascara serves an amazing purpose! To look friggin beautiful. Eyes have been coined the “windows to our souls”. I get it. Looking someone in the eyes can be an interesting experience. Have you ever looked straight into the eyes of someone and quickly realized you just, in fact, looked into the eyes of a GD monster man? Scary shit, right there. Anywho, I find it crucial to adorn my windows with mascara every single day. Mascara is a cosmetic that literally alters your face. Done right, with mascara and my help, mascara will open up and brighten your “windows”. I typically use two different mascaras. One for daytime and one for evening. I change my application depending on where the sun is and where I am going. I don’t wear flats to nightclubs and I don’t wear double platforms to the grocery store. Catch my drift? Read and learn, bitches.
There are 3 products you need for proper mascara application. The lash curler. The mascara. The lash brush.
The key ingredient to bringing your lashes from mediocre to unfuckingreal… two words, lash curler. I meet girls constantly who skip this step. Well, no wonder you look like shit. Duh! Out of all of the things to be lazy on and skip, why the lash curling? Skip shaving your bush. Lord knows no one is seeing that. Curling your lashes does what the cosmetic companies promise in a mascara. Curling your lashes brings everything to another level. Do you have small, beady little eyes? Do you have stubby, little lashes? Curl your God damn lashes. It doesn’t matter what kind of lashes you have. If you want to maximize your mascara and do what’s best for your windows you will start curling your lashes today. Now, not all curlers are created equally. I have used two brands of curlers over the past 20 years. Shu Uemura and Shiseido. Rumor has it they come from the same manufacturer. Sadly, Shu Uemura stopped selling their curlers to US retailers, thus why I buy Shiseido’s now. I love her.
Next, my day time mascara. I have searched high and low and finally found true love. L’oreals Voluminous Million Lashes.
This bitch has a comb style wand which provides minimal clumping. VML holds my lashes curler induced curl perfectly throughout the day as well as adds some length and shit, and who doesn’t want length?
Last but certainly not least… The lash brush. Again, girls. This is a very important step that should not be skipped unless of course you prefer to look like Tammy Faye Bakker. In that case, forget I said anything and carry the fuck on. I use Mac’s lash brush every time I apply mascara to declump and separate.
Let’s begin, shall we? Grab your curler and make sure to get all your top lashes in there. Bring the curler as close to the lash line as you feel comfortable going and firmly clamp down. Pump 5 times. Release and remove. You should immediately notice a difference. Your eyes should look wider and brighter already!
RED ALERT: Do not use a lash curler to curl your lashes after applying mascara. Ouch! and Uh Oh. You will be wearing falsies for a while.
Below are my natural lashes immediately after completing the step above. Look at that curl!
Grab VML and begin your mascara application. It is important to spend most of your time at the lash line. This is where you want most of your mascara going. Apply to the lashes on the lash line and bring the wand up from there. I tend to do a few coats to ensure I get a thick and glorious lash! Make sure to ALWAYS apply mascara to the bottom lashes. Those little bitches need some love too! In my opinion, on a day to day basis, less is more down there. Let’s work on looking normal for now.
The last thing you need to do is grab your lash brush and declump. Now, I do this step immediately after applying my mascara to each section. When I finish applying mascara to my right top lashes, I declump with my brush and move on to the next set of lashes and declump from there. Be sure to do this step while your mascara is still a little wet. Otherwise, you will flake the mascara all over your face. Not a good look.
Sisters, it is simple. It is necessary. Your eyes are your most valuable physical trait. Well, I guess unless you have nice big knockers, some would say those are, but for the rest of us… the eyes. Implement these 3 simple steps into your morning routine to maximize your beauty. You won’t believe your eyes!
Remember. When you look good, you feel good! Bring it, bitches! xo