If you sport any of these hair do’s above on a regular basis please go find a mirror, look in it, and call the person looking back at you a lazy asshole. I am guilty of this too (sometimes). Life is busy. I’m a mom and I have long hair. I mean, I could always get a mom cut, right? Fuck. No. Instead of looking like a hairy asshole with a hot ass mess of a bun on top of your head (my particular mom do of choice) or worse getting the dreaded mom cut (I would rather lose my nipples in a bar fight) we could just fix our hair, right? I, as well as many of you, know how to do my hair. It is just a matter of actually doing it. I went to cosmetology school. I can give a blow out better than most. Case and point. My legendary beauty school blow out. Holy shit, I wish smart phones were around back then. I can’t do a hair blog without telling this story. Imagine. A beauty school filled with over zealous students holding shiny new shears and customers willing to PAY a buck fifty ($1.50) for a haircut. Imagine that clientele. Anywho, some yahoo walks in and needs a quick trim on the ol’ bob cut. The mother joaner sits in my chair, I trim that shit up real nice, grab my largest round brush and I just go to town on this bob, man. Holy crap, I gave that blow out my all. I was determined to give this client volume like no one had ever seen before. And I’ll be, did I ever! The son of a bitch just about punched me in the baby maker when I turned the chair around to give my creation a look in the mirror. I’m sorry. Did I forget to mention the client was a man? A man with a severe cul-de-sac. You know what I am talking about. Not one damn strand of hair on the top, but super frigging full on the sides and shit. If you could have only seen it with your own eyes. His hair wet, touched his shoulders. After the blowout, he’d be lucky if it brushed his chin. I doubled the width of this mans head. Maybe tripled. Proudest beauty school moment right then and there. Graduated cum laude. Anywho, since you all now know I know a thing or two about hair, let’s talk product. See, the only way to have hair looking good is by using product before and after you style. There is no way around it. No way no how. I am here to help you get the stuff you need, that actually frigging works. Here are my top 5 favorite hair products (at the moment).
Pssssst! This is my forever Number 1. I have tried many a dry shampoo. For the price point, this one is where it’s at. I go days sometimes not washing my hair (yes I wash everything else, buttheads) and Psssst! keeps everyone from knowing my dirty little secret. How does dry shampoo work? It absorbs the oils on the hair, which when prevalent, weigh your hair down. Greasy hair not only looks gross it kind of smells gross too. Dry shampooing your hair refreshes that stank with a purdy fresh scent and also adds some much needed volume. Oh, and shampooing everyday isn’t in the best interest of your hair, FYI. Dry shampoo is a must have. I, of course, have a favorite stupid expensive one, too. Momma only buys the real fancy stuff when money seems to be growing on trees. When that happens I will let you know.
L’oreal Extraordinary Oil. This bitch is new to the list. I was using Kerastase Elixir Ultime forever which kicks major ass and would have definitely made this list had I not needed to shop a little wiser these days. Funny thing is, I started using Extraordinary Oil and I like it more than Elixir Ultime! I have dry hair. I sometimes use the oil as a treatment before shampooing. It’s quite effective! I always use it on my hair while it is wet before I blow-dry, as well as a little after to seal my ends with some moisture and love. Badass product right here and a real bang for your buck. L’oreal owns Kerastase, FYI. L’oreal happens to manufacture my favorite drugstore hair products. Not a coincidence.
Kerastase Mousse Bouffante. You want volume like I gave the guy in my legendary story above? This right here will assist you in your quest. I love me some Kerastase as I already mentioned. I also love a volumizing product that delivers! And this mousse does exactly what it is supposed to do.
Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray. Raise your hands to Jesus because Surf Spray is a gift from the heavens. I use this product all year round to make my hair look like a sexy mess. Want your hair to look like you just got laid when you didn’t? Want that tousled beachy look? The effortlessly messed up hair that looks like a million bucks? This is what you are looking for.
Shu Uemura Polishing Milk. They should call it Mothers Milk instead because my ass can’t live without it. I have been using it for 10 years. First of all, the smell is something fierce. Best smelling hair product I have ever used. That right there is enough to keep it stocked in my house. Besides the beautiful scent, the product itself is perfect. I use this after every wash. It’s hair lotion and it softens, smooths, and protects my hair. I love this shit. A lot.
These here are my top 5 favorite everyday hair products at the moment. Stay tuned for my 3 must have hairsprays, favorite shampoo, conditioners, and styling tools. Let’s try to keep the hot mess hair to a minimum, sisters. Keeping my hair done did real nice was actually one of my resolutions this year because why? When you look good, you feel good. It is as simple as that. Check this out because we all need to cover that hair up in style once in awhile!
Now, scram! Brush your damn hair and have a beautiful day, bitches! xoxo