I think this week’s Vanderpump Rules calls for a song of celebration. Fooooooooooor she’s a jolly good fella, for she’s a jolly good fella, for she’s a jolly good fellaaaaaaa, which nobody can deny! Well done Lisa, it’s about frigging time! I mean, it was either fire Kristen now or wait until she kidnaps Tom and goes all Silence of the Lambs on him. EEEK! Can you imagine her telling Tom to put the lotion on his skin or else he’ll get the hose again? I sure as F can! But, knowing Tom, he would probably love to pamper his skin all day long so basically Buffalo Bill would be like a dream come true to him. Watching Lisa fire her (FINALLY) was so fulfilling. Now, I am a HUGE Celebrity Apprentice fan, so I fantasized this is how it went down:
Oops. Wrong fantasy. This is how it went down.
D Trump would have NEVER put up with her crap for that long. He fired Kenya the other night for stealing Vivica A. Fox’s phone and that is child’s play compared to the crazy shit Kristen does. #makesmyskincrawl
I loved watching the celebration of her termination. Specifically, the two line cooks whispering words of happiness and relief to see her crazy ass go! Have you ever seen such an expression of joy before!??
Let’s chat about Tom and Katie. I have begun to like her more now that she has pulled her pretty face out of Stassi’s butthole. This new, independent look looks good on her. This week Tom told her he “made out” with another girl. Mmmmhmmm (throw in some side eye). And I hate red wine and leopard print. But truth be told, I love these two. He cracks me up and Katie does a good job of keeping calm every time her boyfriend tells her about his accidental make out partners. Oh well, live and learn kiddos. They were guests on Watch What Happens Live and I love how much Tom looked like Crispin Glover (who I totally used to have a crush on). Ok so, maybe Willard (pictured below) wasn’t Crispin’s best look, but he had a couple emo, creepy kind of guy, hot moments back in the day.
I’m fairly confident this isn’t the last of Kristen…shit.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Ok, first off. If someone crazy biatch like Brandi came to my party and talked smack to me or about my man, Nicole would claw her eyeballs out with her perfectly, Monday manicured finger nails. So I must ask…what is the deal Kim R??? Obviously, I have absolutely NO idea what really goes on in their sister relationship, but Kyle, for the most part, seems pretty with it and supportive. And let’s be honest, Brandi is like the least likely candidate to be a sober sister’s sponsor/adviser/24/7 friend. Kim, get it together! Puleeeaaaase! Sitting back and watching crazy get in between you and you sister is messed up.
I want to talk more about Kyle. Has she and the Lisas found the fountain of youth? I NEED to know. Homegirl is killing it this season. I especially loved her blue, green bedazzled dress this past episode, she looked stellar. Too bad she cried while wearing it. I feel like that has happened to me…I get all dolled up, make up and hair looks great. Then, I accidentally drink champagne and have feelings of regret the next morning sprinkled with flashbacks of tears and running mascara. Oops. Champagne and I do NOT get along. It is a very rare sighting to see me have even a sip of the bubbly.
I came across this photo of Lisa and Ken vacationing…seriously? Are they vampires? Because if they are, I want in! They can both suck my neck and then I’ll do it to Anthony and Egon (our cat) and anyone else who wants to join the forever young party. Where do I sign up?!
And this is just a reminder that you don’t have swans in your front yard.
Two questions were asked on this last RHBH.
Kyle to Brandi: “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
Answer: Yes, yes she is.
Eileen to viewers regarding the Richards and Brandi debacle: “I don’t know how to make that better. What do you get a hose and hose them down?”
Answer: Yes, yes you do.
Until next week TSPeeps! Keep it real and don’t let a crazy sister from another mister get in between you and your sister! xo