I am relatively young. 35. In my life I have experienced a lot of stuff. And when I say stuff, I mean good stuff and bad stuff. I am no expert but I am someone who has had to learn to cope, learn how to love myself again, learn how to say good bye to people who bring me down, learn how to attract positivity, learn how to conquer anxiety, and learn how to live my life full of confidence and self love. I have successfully done these things, more than once some of them (I am sure I will have to do many of them again as time goes on) and I want to empower you and fill you in on a few things I know about feeling good, boosting your self esteem, and about staying true to yourself.
call it a day
Ugh. This is a hard one. I mean, it is definitely easier said than done. And I am not talking about the boyfriend/husband who comes home from work crabby once in a while or refuses to change a dirty diaper. I am talking about the mother effer who doesn’t love you right. The one who makes you not love YOU right. Yeah. That guy. Whether you are dating him or married to him for a decade, you need to know you deserve better. There ain’t nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable in your own home or lonely in your marital bed. In the end, life is short, you are beautiful, and he’s a God damn D Bag. When there’s a will, there’s a way. xo
You are what you eat
Ever eat something really delicious but so frigging bad for you and you spend the rest of the day feeling like poo? Physically and emotionally? This is because your body doesn’t like that shit. Ever eat something really delicious but so frigging good for you and you spend the rest of the day feeling amazing? Physically and emotionally? This is because your body likes that shit. You want to feel good about yourself and live a healthy happy life? Put into your body the kind of energy you want to put out. Healthy, positive, good stuff. PS: Vitamins and supplements are a major part of my life. I take them everyday and they have changed my life. Check this out.
When you look good, you feel good
This is my motto. It is so true, you guys. Feeling down? Take a look in the mirror when you look like shit. Nose dive. Put on some frigging make up and brush your hair! This one is a no brainer. I understand life is busy and we all have things we put ahead of our own beauty regimens but let’s stop doing that right now. If you don’t look good, you won’t feel good, and if you don’t feel good, life if going to suck huge nards.
Dress to impress…
Yourself! Other people’s opinions, thoughts, and unsolicited advice on how you should look, what you should wear, how much makeup you should wear, how you should do your hair, and anything else pertaining to how you look is YOUR business. I mean, there are some etiquettes that should be respected. Don’t wear a ho top to church. Always wear something over your favorite dickie. Wear a frigging bra if your fun bags have deflated and hang past your belly button. Mom jeans are never ok. My point is, you need to be true to yourself and express yourself through your own personal style and if someone doesn’t like it because they have different taste, well then fuck them. Don’t let anyone try to change you or your style. Ever. It will kill you on the inside and it will demolish your relationship because you will resent them. And don’t ever change you or your style to fit in or impress someone. It ain’t going to work, girl. You are who you are. Learn to love it and live it proudly.
Get rid of that anxiety
We all get into a little funk every now and again but when anxiety starts consuming your life and wrapping its ugly self around your brain and won’t let go, it is time to make some changes. Anxiety is awesome at crushing your self esteem and everything else in your life, for that matter. There is absolutely no way to feel wonderful when your anxiety is out of control. It can literally destroy you, your social life, your professional life, and your private life. Who wants to bang a chick who is a huge, gigantic bitch with a short temper and chewed up finger nails? I’m being funny. On a serious note, it is possible to get rid of it and you should fix it if you want to live a happy and fruitful life. Here is my advice. Find a cognitive behavioral therapist. I learned this from my ex husband and it is by far the most valuable thing I left my marriage with (next to my babies and diamonds, of course). CBT has been proven to be the most effective form of therapy treatment for anxiety. It really works, you guys. I am the proof and I have massive respect for CBT. Here are some other things you can do on a daily basis to get anxiety to lay the eff off. Avoid caffeine, meditate, get enough sleep, get this planner (it will change your life), exercise, avoid people who suck, get rid of negativity in your life, make to-do lists everyday and cross them off as you complete each task, clean out your closets, cabinets, drawers, and cars (don’t knock it until you try it. This will help relieve some stress), eat a healthy, balanced diet, laugh, a lot, and set some short term and long term goals for yourself. Ah. I feel better already! PS: This book is AMAZING and will help you if you struggle with anxiety.
Lay off the booze
There is nothing worse than feeling a little down on yourself and then going out and getting shit canned only to wake up feeling worse about yourself because you’re a major loser for getting shit canned. Add being hungover to that emotional torture. Hell. On. Earth. Then the horrible cycle continues if you’re anything like me when I am hungover. I end up eating garbage all day and possibly hitting up a couple of beers to feel better. I get it. A couple drinks can help you relax. Let’s try to limit the intake to 2 drinks and not making them glasses of Wild Turkey. Laying off the booze will help you feel better about yourself because you will be more productive, you will look better, you will feel better, you will smell better, and you will make better life choices.
work the fuck out
When you exercise, your brain produces this little thing called serotonin. That shit makes you feel good. Exercising is hands down the best way to ensure your mental and physical health. I will never forget the first time I walked into my life changing therapists office. I was in the dumps mentally and my anxiety was through the roof. First prescription. Go to the gym and work out. I felt better within a week. Serotonin is pretty magical. Go produce some and you’ll be feeling better in no time.
Be a little vain
It is mucho importante to love what you see when you look in the mirror. I really encourage girls and women to love themselves inside and out. It is easy to use your exterior as a facade, though, so be very careful. You don’t want to cover up your inner troubles and lack of self love with too much make up, so to speak. Do things for yourself that make you feel beautiful. Get your hair did. Get some botox. Buy some new lipstick. Get a mani/pedi. Whiten your teeth. Get your titties done if you have always wanted to or buy a really good push up bra. Get your nose done if it bothers you and it is something you desire. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making yourself look the way you want to look. Be healthy minded about these decisions, though. Make sure you are making these decision for you and no one else. If your lover likes to stick his face in between gigantic fake boobies and you are sporting a B cup and you like them? Send him to a strip club and keep on loving your little titties, ladies.
Making whoopee is good for you! There are many reasons why having a good old fashioned orgasm will help lift your spirits. Your brain produces a plethora of feel good things that aid in you feeling really good when you do the deed. Getting heals to Jesus also helps with your self esteem! Having someone pop a boner because they think you’re hot is pretty awesome. I mean, not all boners are good boners. Having some guy wearing a leather mask with a zipper mouth pitch a tent while driving next to you on the road isn’t the best way to show a girl you’re into her. Happened to sister Lauren. She freaked. I would have, however, pulled over and let him have his way with me. YOLO, right? And you little ladies who are lacking an essential part of the making whoopee equation (a human), go on and buy yourself a wiener or something. Not a frigging prostitute. A vibrator. You’re welcome.
Get that Glow
When I am in a little funk, one thing I do to give myself a little boost of self esteem and confidence is to apply a self tanner. Truth is, everyone looks better with a little glow. It makes you look better therefore you… come on, girls, you know this one! Yep! You feel better! It is just a little, simple way to feel beautiful, healthy, and confident. Don’t get all crazy and shit with it though. Tanarexia is a real thing. Self Tan healthy by doing it in moderation.
And finally, here are a few little things that can make your day a little better
Shave your legs, get your eyebrows done, budget your money, get a car wash, prepare a meal plan for the week, drink a ton of water, take a bubble bath, catch up with an old friend who always makes you smile, clean out your refrigerator, put on cuticle oil, trim your bush or wax that shit, go for a run, veg out and watch a favorite movie, start a new book, charge the batteries for your new vibrator.
If what you are doing makes you feel good, you have loyal self love, and you aren’t hurting anyone then keep on doing what you are doing and….
Love it. Live it. Share it.