A hangover is like a serial killer…it will try to sneak up on you and kill you. And you should absolutely avoid one at all costs. However, there is that occasional day/night where we accidentally over indulge and feel the wrath of the alcohol the following day. Lord knows I’ve had my fair share. Depending on how badly you are affected by a hangover, or as The Knife likes to call it, the brown bottle flu, it can be the worst feeling in the world. It’s true what they say, the older you get the worse the hanging gets. Nauseous, dizzy, tired, sweaty…basically completely out of sorts. Even my makeup won’t lay right when I’m feeling like crap after a fun night out. Does anyone else have that problem? Remember when you were in your twenties and you could manage partying two or three nights in a row? Those days for me, are dead. I can certainly go out a couple nights in a row, but now I have to be more responsible about how much I drink and how to avoid the dreaded hangover. I have learned a few tricks along the way I would like to share with you all, but first, let’s start by understanding where the word hangover came from and what it entails.
The word hangover comes from the Norwegian word, veisalgia meaning “uneasiness following debauchery.” I’d say so! PS. for now on I will be saying, “I have the worst veisalgia ever!” or “No shots for me! I definitely don’t want a veisalgia”. The medical definition is as follows: disagreeable physical effects (as in headache or nausea) following heavy consumption of alcohol. Yup, sounds about right. Here’s a closer look at what it does to our little bodies.
The awful world of over drinking:
– Breaking the seal. Once the seal is broken there really isn’t any going back. If you are out all day or all night drinking, you are most likely peeing…a lot. This ultimately supports the case for dehydration and loss of electrolytes. Queue waking up, parched beyond belief and chugging a glass of a water as if you’ve been in the desert for days.
– Bring on the headache. Drinking alcohol has the tendency to widen the blood vessels which can lead to a pounding headache. I’m convinced aspirin doesn’t put a dent in a hangover headache. Like…at all.
– Good luck catching some solid shut eye. Alcohol messes with our sleep, so after a night out on the town we are often restless in bed or wake up super early, often with a ton of energy, but that slowly fades and the day draaaaaaags from there on out. Sweet.
– Ever feel like you have anxiety the day after? That’s because hangovers cause stress within the body and mess with your ability to deal with it. How fun!
– Haaachooo! It also decreases your ability to ward off colds and other diseases because the body is not at it’s highest potential to fight off germs.
– Tired much the next day? Drinking liquor can slow down the production of glucose in the body resulting in low blood sugar and can have you feeling irritable, fatigued, weak and moody.
– Want a warm bologna milkshake? That’s what my sisters would say to me when I was younger and praying to the Porcelain Princess. So sweet they are. Alcohol increases the acid in your stomach and can aggravate the lining of your tummy resulting in the barfs. Awesome.
– Don’t tell me. Ever have those feelings of regret where you wake up and instantly feel ashamed and not sure of what happened the night before? That’s just the alcohol messing with your neurological system.
Well, that all sounded absolutely dreadful. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fun night out without feeling like complete poo the next day. Seeing as though there is really no cure for a hangover, there are ways to try and avoid them. Here are some steps you can take to steer clear of veisalgia.
Try to stick to one type of alcohol. Most of the time I will drink vino and stick to it for the evening. If it’s not a wine kind of place or event, I will stick with beer. I rarely ever drink hard liquor, so I don’t have to worry about putting that into the mix. With that being said, mixing often leads to unfortunate physical ailments the following day.
Say no to shots. Back in college my friends and I loved O’Bombs, those would be a concoction of Redbull and Bacardi O. Ew. These days, one shot of anything will do me in. I know my body hates hard liquor so there is no sense in having any. Recently, we went out to celebrate my brother in laws birthday and my little sister in law asked if I wanted a shot, I declined and she came back at me with…..”you’re soooooo old!”. The next day she nearly passed away from her hangover. Poor little sissy.
Drink a TON of water. I’ll either switch water, drink, water, drink or I will stop drinking for a good while and sip on some H2O. Don’t forget to chug a butt load of water before bedtime as well!
Puff, puff, pass. At other times, I will stop drinking completely or not drink at all and just smoke some grass. WARNING: Don’t ever drink a ton of red wine and then smoke pot. Worst.idea.ever.
Hungry fella? It’s smart to eat at some point while you’re out for the day or night. I like to try and keep it healthy, but let’s be honest, some french fries and some naughty food at the end of the night happens once in a while and it is delicious! There is a bit of good news here as well…fatty foods can help protect the lining of the stomach while throwin a few back. If you’re at a fest all day, I do recommend bringing a healthy bar to keep something in your stomach so you don’t get too hammered before the awesome headliners.
Know what your body is ok with. As I mentioned, I can’t do shots, but I also can NOT do champagne. Noooo way Jose! Bad things happen when I sip on the bubbly stuff. One day I will write an entire post on the last time I decided to drink it. Keywords: wedding (not my own), blood, paramedics, one shoe, scotch tape…oh and let’s not leave out, humiliation.
Moderation. Back in high school the dean always ended his a.m. announcements with “as in all things, ladies and gentlemen, moderation.” It’s a good one and can be applied in many situations in life. Shout out to Fenwick High School! GO FRIARS!
Just say no. The most efficient way to not get a hangover is to not drink. Plain and simple.
Here’s the deal, you can only avoid a hangover, you can’t cure one. However, these days there are IV clinics you can go to if you are severely suffering from drinking way too much. I have never been, but I have heard that IVme Hydration Clinic in the West Loop does the job and can significantly help those suffering from the massive big H. Happy Hanging TSPeeps and Godspeed.
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