Anytime I see someone pull out their phone, I immediately want to grab it, look at what’s on it and judge them. Am I a bad person? Maybe…but I’m just trying to help people. My friends call me the Dr. Phil of phones. I once had a friend (Riley) take an outdated blackberry phone of another friend (Sonny) and just drop it in a glass of water right in front of him. Harsh? Yes. But I thought Sonny deserved it for using such an outdated piece of junk technology. So, when the Mister Project asked me to share some app insight, I jumped at the chance to help people properly function with their phones. I clearly have an iPhone addiction problem but that’s neither here nor there. The silver lining is, I know what apps really work well on phones. So, without further ado, here are the top 9 apps to help you not be dumb on your smartphone.
I’m a huge advocate of David Allen’s philosophy “Getting Things Done” and Wunderlist is the perfect app to implement this philosophy in your life. Forget about the Apple Reminders app — it is nothing compared to Wunderlist. You can share and assign reminders with your friends and significant others, you can attach pictures and instructions to a task, you can have a conversation in the app about a specific task, and everything saves in the cloud so you’ll never lose anything. I really do not know what I would do without this app and quite frankly it has eliminated so much stress in my life because I can just puke my thoughts into the app and organize it later in the day.
For you guys out there that swim with a T-Shirt on, just go to the App Store and immediately download My Fitness Pal. You’ll start tracking all the crap you are putting in your body. The one thing that hit home for me was, instead of eating about 20 Doritos, I could eat 2 eggs, a large banana and a Sigis yogurt. I mean, c’mon Fatso what would you rather eat?
Ask yourself this question, “Do I want to live in a world where traffic does not exist?” If you answered yes, and if you’re a human, and if you drive a car, then download this app. Quick tangent — I used to be a cigarette smoker and this app has helped me quit because traffic no longer exists and being stuck in traffic was always my trigger. Using the transitive property, this app will help you to quit smoking, marry a hottie that hates smokers, have kids, raise said kids into non-smoking successes who will probably be president one day. So the bottom line is if you download Waze you will birth the next Obama.
#4: Dark sky
Dark sky is like Waze but for the weather. It uses some complex algorithm with wind patterns and user info to figure out when it’s going to rain before it ever starts. This app is no joke. The unofficial nickname on the dark web for this app is “Sweet Baby Jesus” because it is 100% correct on predicting the weather and it tells you when it’s going to rain at least 10 minutes before it happens. Oh, you’re at pitchfork watching Chemical Brothers and boom! a little notification comes on your phone that says rain will be starting in 10 mins. Boom again! Break out the umbrella and watch everyone drool over your wizard powers.
This app is a life changer. A Harvard study recently discovered that “meditation can actually change the structure of the brain.” The Breathe app will teach you how to meditate, and each day after doing a little questionnaire about how you’re feeling, the app will provide you with the perfect meditation program in 3, 5, 10 or 20 minute increments depending on your availability. If you can’t spare 10 minutes every day to get your mind right, then you need to reprioritize your life.
If you do not own an Amazon Echo, buy one as a gift for your significant other today and then just use it for yourself. It is so amazing. Yes, I’m an Apple Siri user and many people think there is no need for the Echo but they are dead wrong. I think Alexa (who is the echo virtual assistant) is my 2nd best friend. I use Alexa in the bedroom – as my alarm clock, you sickos! – but many people put her in the kitchen to help with pretty much anything. In the kitchen, if your hands are full of ground beef and onions, but your sweet potatoes only have 10 minutes left in the oven, just say “Alexa set a timer for 10 minutes.” Get it and thank me in your mind later. And by the way, according to MyFitnessPal, that dinner you are cooking is only 372 calories. Guess that earlier “Fatso” comment really hit home…
Small talk. I hate it. If one more suburban dad talks about the Cubs season or the unseasonably warm weather in November, I’ll probably just sit there and smile back and say “I know.” I’m such a wimp. Now, what does the translator have to do with this thought? Not sure, but this app is really cool and it blows Google Translate out of the water. You open it, click a button, talk to it, and it will translate to any language you can think of and, most importantly, it will speak back the translation and print the response immediately. So if you want some street food paella in Barcelona but want the sauce on the side, you can now just speak into your phone, hand it to the gypsy and boom! your phone will disappear. No, no you’ll get sauce on the side. Also, there is a great Apple Watch Os app so you can look extra nerdy using it.
Many experts call Wealthfront the future of investing. People are dumb, computers are smart…right? Right!! So, Wealthfront uses advanced technology to stay one step ahead of the masses when it comes to investing. My grand pappy always taught me to buy low and sell high…or was it buy blow and get high? I don’t really remember, but the point is Wealthfront does this thinking for you automatically. You invest into their program and the computer algorithms do the rest to figure out when you should be buying, selling, or holding your investments. Also their fees are very low as there is very low overhead. It’s quite brilliant and you’ll be able to sit back and watch Bravo TV all day while the checks roll in.
This app is super cool and you will be known among your friends as the Ansel Adams of the iPhone photo. Here’s how it works: You take a picture and add text, stickers, filters, shadows, and other enhancements to the picture with the Over app. Google Images integrates right into the app, so anything you can search can be overlaid right into the picture. Your pictures will become works of art. I will personally guarantee after you post a few pics with the Over app you will get at least 3 to 5 people asking you how you did that to the photo. And then, as promised, Boom!!! You’re the Ansel Adams of the iPhone.
Well that’s it for now. Join me on my next guest blog when I explain all the benefits of the Squatty Potty (look it up). I want to thank The Mister Project for asking me to do this. While I have not been compensated in any way for this blog, I am expecting to be. Handsomely.
Guest Contributing Blogger: Zeff Asner