I am hoping today’s post is a lot of inspiration for you and a little therapy for me. I was going to write something light and breezy in anticipation of the end of the school year, but my sisters thought I needed something a pinch more inspiring. After all, it is Monday. Well, I am going to be honest. I am not feeling very Matt Foley-esque today. (Not getting the reference? YouTube Matt Foley.) I am afraid my anxiety has reared its ugly head and I am in the throws of a relapse. Absolutely.Fucking.Miserable. This happens from time to time and unfortunately, the death-vice-grip it has on my mind can be a little bit of a buzzkill. Who am I kidding? The buzzkill is far more than little. We are talking mammoth sized here. Best part. When this crap comes for a visit, it manifests itself in all different forms just to take my mind fuck to a whole new level of awesome. And if you haven’t caught on, this blog is riddled with sarcasm.
Anxiety has been something I have known I have had since my kids were small. Looking back on my life and my behavior, it is obvious I am a born worrier and have been more anxious than calm for the majority of my life. Oh the stories I could tell. However, I have found this junk has enjoyed trying to take control of my life for the better part of the last ten years and although I am lucky enough to be surrounded by supportive people who understand me and what life is like when anxiety sets in, unfortunately, they can’t help. This is one of those things that doesn’t go away on its own. It is all on me and if I don’t tend to it, it could get ugly. Thankfully, I have never gone there, however, when I am in the throes of it, getting out of my own head can be a challenge far greater than anything I have ever been faced with. With that being said, I have never been one to walk away from a challenge, so chalk this up as my most recent “Challenge Accepted.”
So, what’s next? What do I do? How do I make this crap go away? Well, that is the best part, and Lauren reminded me of that this morning. This “problem” is manageable and even though I am in the thick of it right now and the light is barely visible at the end of the tunnel, there is a a way out. This isn’t my first rodeo. The number one most important thing for me to do is take care of me. Put me first. Focus on me. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!! How? Let me count the ways! I know that with a hefty combination of meditation, therapy, more regular exercise, deep breaths, more yoga and less coffee, I will once again regain control of that very powerful thing we call our mind. I have no choice. This is my journey. Today I promise to dedicate all that I must to ensure my mind, body and spirit are back on track and harmonious once again. Gosh that sounds nice.
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