It is fair to say I have an obsession with wieners. Not even necessarily the real deal wieners. I can take those or leave em…. especially the old cocktail wiener dicks. I leave those in a jiffy. I do, however, appreciate a good old fashioned phallic looking anything. If I see something resembling a wiener I will stop and appreciate it for its amazing qualities. I may even rub it without realizing I am in fact rubbing it. Nature of the beast over here. I also appreciate seeing real life wieners of not only humans. Animal wieners can be incredibly interesting and even shocking depending on the species. Ever see a donkey’s dick? Sick amazing shit. Ain’t no wiener need to be that big. I even like saying the word wiener as much I like seeing a wiener (if you haven’t noticed). Anywho, I was bored the other night and started searching for “Things That Look Like Wieners That Shouldn’t” and wouldn’t you know it? People absolutely love photographing things that look like wieners! I am not the only creep around.
Here are my favorite things that look like wieners.
A couple of things bother me here. The “wiener” looks like a dead dick and I do not like the folded up wieners. Not one bit. #penilefracture (this is a real thing. Look it up. #OUCH)
This one here bothers me as well. That right there is a tiny little man dick of a strawberry. I don’t like the uneven nut bags nor do I appreciate the curved wiener #ImOutOfThereAlready
This fucking guy is awesome. He totally just took a pic of his huge ass balls and long skinny cucumber wiener and sent it to his mom. At least that’s what I’d do. #HugeNards
I am disturbed a bit by this red ass hot pepper wiener. Looks like a really shiny uncircumcised baby dick. #BagelDog
I have been pissed off at Santa ever since he didn’t bring me a Cricket doll back in the late 80’s. #DickHead
I give compliments when compliments are due. This right here is a beautiful buffalo chicken wiener. #MouthWatering
Ok, now this wiener is a bit different. It is an actual wiener that resembles something else. #PrairieDogging
Mother Nature’s Wieners
Aww shit. That tree has a nice wiener. #TreeDick
If there were ever a sink hole I wanted to sink in it would be this here wiener hole. #RoadHead
If I had tons of money and this here hunk of wiener land were for sale I would buy it and name it #Wiener Island
I want to lay on the beach of Wiener Island and stare up into the sky at wiener clouds. #MyHeaven
After much investigation and thinking I have come to the conclusion that these here wiener and ball stamps in the snow came from a two legged hopping creature with a big dick or a flying creature with a huge wiener and balls who was just having a little fun in the snow making #MushroomMarks
Awe shit. They guy is like all bat and no ball. #IWoudntComplainAboutThat
This hillbilly is totally turning me on with his coffee can cactus wiener and balls. #HeHadMeAtCactusWiener
Holy crap! Forget the guy above! This old fart with the huge cactus dick and nuts is my soul mate. #AgeIsOnlyANumber #CheckOutThatPrick
And for all you morons who would actually pose with a cactus wiener and balls… Beware. They will fuck you up. #AllForACactusDickPic
I can’t remember the last time I had a dick on my back and balls on my ass but I assure you it was not as awesome as this dog. I would name him “The Donger” #16Candles
And today, Chicagoland, I am predickting a very large storm in the NorthEast. #WearYourRubbersToWork
What I am into here is the weatherman’s hand about to honk the big ass storm nipple. #HeIsAMultitasker
I told you I liked wieners.
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