I know I know. Why is the single divorced sister giving us relationship advice? Couple of things. Divorced people (not all of em) may in fact be some of the best people to talk to when it comes to relationships because we know what happens when you stop doing the good stuff. Secondly, all of the stuff I am going to mention is pretty frigging obvious and common sense would tell you these are the things that are important. It’s just when life gets busy and time flies, it is super easy to put our relationship priorities on the back burner. I am here to say don’t fucking do that. Nurture your relationships and your lovers. Continue to keep the fire burning because once that fire goes out it is really, REALLY hard to get the spark back. Trust me. I know this first hand. Here is a beautiful list of things you two need to never stop doing in your relationship.
- Kissing. This is one of the first things to happen between the two of you that made you know you had found the one. Butterflies in the stomach. Making out and just kissing is one of the most intimate things you and your partner can do with one another. Kissing will make you feel intimate and connected. Do not stop kissing each other. Don’t pork each other without kissing first. Kiss one another before you go to sleep (no tongue needed). Kiss each other in the morning. In the afternoon. Kiss, kiss and never stop kissing. Kissing is beautiful and kissing will keep you young!
- Laughing. There is just something about laughing together isn’t there? Laughing makes the world go round and also makes a relationship stay happy. Not taking life too seriously and being able to laugh when shit is tough will keep you and your lover in a good place. Knowing how to make your love laugh when they want to cry is medicine for their soul and your relationship. No matter how bad shit gets, keep laughing. You want to die with laugh lines not frown lines. The both of ya.
- Making plans for the future. Making plans for the future places hope and promise in the hearts and minds of you and your lover. It makes you both feel excited and gives you a solid reason to know you have a partner in life. When you stop making plans together for the future then your future may not be being built together. Making plans and setting goals makes you feel like you have a partner and that you aren’t doing this whole screwed up life thing alone 😉
- Spending time together. This is a big deal. Just the two of you. Consistently, not necessarily constantly. Constant time together can be some real life bullshit. It is normal to not want to spend every waking moment with someone but for crying out loud go on dates together. Read together. Grab coffee and catch up. Smoke a J and laugh your asses off together. Go on a weekend get away. Never stop dating one another. Spending quality time together will keep you two on the same page and on one another’s minds. It feels good.
- Supporting one another. This is a hard one. When your partner comes to you and says, “Hey babe. I want to switch careers” and you guys have a mortgage and car payments and kids and shit, it sure is difficult to say, “Ok, honey”. But the truth is, if you don’t support one another the two of you are going to have major resentments and major unhappiness. In order for two people to be happy together, those two people need to be independently happy with themselves. So if you don’t support your wife’s desire to work outside of the house to give her a sense of self, she is going to probably stop sucking on your dong because she is going to resent you. It is as simple as that. Accept one another and support one another. People change and evolve. It is important to do that stuff together best you can.
- Saying sweet nothings. Whispering sweet nothings into these ears will most likely get you into these pants (depending on 500 other important things). I am one of those people who needs to hear how beautiful I am. How smart I am. How funny I am. You get the idea. I need to hear things in order to feel loved. That is how I roll. Now if my lover stops telling me those things and substitutes them with things like… you didn’t get milk? I like your hair better blonde. Your botox is wearing off. Your tits look small. You are getting some junk in your trunk. If I hear shit like that instead of the positive, sweet, loving shit? I am emotionally checking out. And guess what else? I am going to stop being sweet with you. I also still need to hear those things and will stray and find someone else who is going to whisper sweet nothings in my ear because you are an asshole. Compliment your lover and make sure they compliment you. It just makes everything seem so much better and sweeter.
- Being a friend. There are so many things that make this one mucho importante. Being a friend to your lover is crucial in making sure your relationship has a strong and solid foundation. You need to be available for your love in ways you make yourself available for your friends. Being your partner’s confidant is a huge honor and something you want to be and you want them to be for you. Always making yourself available to listen when they need to be heard is cool. You want to be sought after for advice and they want to be there for you when you need advice. But sometimes you need to just listen and give no advice. Being an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on is hugely valuable. Judgements and criticisms aren’t what friends do so think before you speak. Treat one another the way you want to be treated and your relationship will stand a fighting chance.
- Porking Each Other. One of the most important things in your relationship. It is human nature to want to get laid so get laid! Keeping your sex life active and exciting is incredibly important. Sex can be the first thing to exit the relationship as time goes by and you become comfortable and busy in life. Do not let it leave your relationship. Do not. Being intimate with your partner and sexually satisfied is a necessity in life. It can be incredibly difficult and uncomfortable to get back into the swing of things if you and your partner have been sexually absent in one another’s lives. Don’t let cobwebs take over your sex life. Have fun. Give your lover a BJ. Wake him up by playing with his wiener. Buy a new toy and surprise your partner with it. Get a sexy little slutty outfit to wear after dinner one night. Spice shit up! Do whatever you can to maintain a healthy, active and fun sex life. Once this aspect of the relationship dies you might as well call your lawyer and have him draw up the papers.
- Being honest with one another. This can be a difficult one for people. I know I had a difficult time with this one myself. Telling a partner what they want to hear as opposed to what you actually want to say is a huge mistake. You are hurting yourself and your partner which is the opposite of what you are intending to do. It is a vicious cycle. Know that the truth can hurt someone but the truth will set you free. Be honest with your partner. You will sleep better at night and so will they.
- Forgiving one another. We are human. We make mistakes. We say shit we don’t mean. We act like dicks and bitches to each other sometimes. We get into fights. We piss each other off. We forget to shut the crock pot off and a whole bunch other dumb relationship bullshit. What we shouldn’t do is stay pissed off and never forget. I am not talking about a husband who porks half the town while you are on a girls weekend, people. That is a serious problem and you should cut his dick off and flush it down the toilet. I am talking about the normal stuff. Always forgive and do your absolute best to forget. It is hard but if your ass holds a grudge against the person you are spending the rest of your life with, well that is going to majorly suck. For both of you. Forgive each other and then maybe, I don’t know, screw each other.
If you and your lover have stopped doing all of these or worse, never did these things at all, well… you’re fucked.
It takes a little work to be happy in a relationship. Make the effort to make your relationship beautiful. It is definitely worth it and the rewards are great.
Love it. Live it. Share it.