Self love isn’t something you just think up one day and POOF! You love yourself. Nope. Learning to appreciate and love yourself develops from actions. These actions contribute to our physical and spiritual growth which in turn nurtures our very own self love and appreciation. You need to act like you love yourself in order to actually love yourself. Make sense? Going to a makeup counter or finding some guy to put a ring on your finger is not going to nurture your soul. No way, Jose. Those are not the kind of actions I am talking about here. It can be very confusing for some people to understand this concept. I have been there so I get it. A few years ago I turned myself into Lois and frigging Clark and decided to go on a quest for self love. I was sick and tired of existing and not living. Life was unfulfilling. I felt purposeless and unloved. I realized then the only one who had control in all of that good stuff was ME. I felt those things because I didn’t truly love myself. I didn’t even know how to! And honestly, back then if someone looked at me and said “Nicole, you don’t love yourself”, I would have donkey punched them right in the asshole. I didn’t even realize how much I was neglecting myself and my soul until I hit rock bottom. When that happened I opened my eyes and my heart and began my journey of self love.
In my opinion self love is the most important thing we as humans can do for ourselves. It is the foundation of everything in our lives. How we love ourselves reflects how others love us and how we love others. It is crucial and it is beautiful. Here are some actions we can all do to better love ourselves. These are the things I learned and still practice today.
- Take care of yourself for crying out loud. Tend to your basic needs. I am talking exercise, eat healthy, get quality sleep, have some sex, have some laughs. This shit is food for our minds and souls! Not only these things but take a frigging shower everyday, moms. Wash those pits. Put on some mascara. A bra would be nice, too. I almost tripped on my neighbors nipples yesterday. These basic things are actions that will help nourish and build our individual self love.
- Boundaries are major. You need to learn to say no! Setting boundaries at work, home, with your families, friends, lovers, etc. will get you loving yourself more in a jiffy. Why? Who the heck feels good and happy when they are doing things that don’t feed their souls? If you have a choice and in your gut you don’t want to do it, don’t frigging do it. Be true to yourself.
- Forgiveness. I am talking self forgiveness. You can’t forgive anyone else if you can’t even forgive yourself. We are human. We make mistakes. Some much larger than others. Whether you are beating yourself up for burning dinner or unable to forgive yourself for being a hoe and cheating on your significant other, forgiveness is necessary in spiritual and mental growth and nourishment. We are hard on ourselves and we emotionally beat the fuck out of ourselves. That shit needs to stop right now. Forgive yourself and MOVE ON. You are not a failure. If you learn from your mistakes and grow from them they were life lessons. Lessons that taught you something valuable and made you a better person today than you were yesterday. That is some deep cool ass shit, if you ask me.
- Live with purpose. This one right here feeds my soul like no other. Living with purpose and direction is key to loving yourself. Your purpose does not have to be some grandiose thing. It can be as simple as having order in your court. Being more organized for tomorrow. Getting your to do list done today. If you choose living a healthy more balanced life as your purpose, when you actually eat well and get your ass to the gym, you will be proud of yourself and gain more self respect and self love. Living with purpose is mucho importante.
- Focus on what you need not what you want. This one is hard for me. Why? Because I want a lot but need very little. If we all focused and controlled ourselves more often we would have less chaos and anxieties in our lives. We all have automatic behavior patterns that cause chaos in our lives. It is human nature but being able to turn away from those things that feel good to us to something that we need is a sure fire way to exhibit and build self love. Doing the right thing will bring peace and balance to your lives.
- Say adios to assholes. How the hell are you going to learn to love yourself if you have big, giant assholes hanging around? The answer? You’re not. Having people in your life who don’t feed your soul is detrimental to your personal growth and health. Do you have friends or acquaintances who do more harm than good to you? People in your life who would rather see you fall than stand? A boyfriend or girlfriend who verbally assaults you? A lover who doesn’t love you right? Love you the way your soul needs to be loved? Say goodbye to them. Right fucking now. Know this. If you don’t, you will never love yourself entirely. This is your god damn life and you are running it. Surround yourself with people, souls, who bring peace and positivity to you. People who will help you up when you fall not kick you when you’re down.
So, you do you and you do you right. No one else is going to ever love you as much as you could possibly love yourself. Once you begin the process your eyes will widen and your heart will open. It is simply magical. Enjoy the ride, TSPeeps!
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