Greatness takes only love. This was a Facebook comment I received from a friend regarding a post I put up last week about my dad and the enormous love he has for my children and I. In many ways my father is “the man” in our lives which I think he secretly loves. I threaten to call him and tell on them if they are acting naughty, he advises me and guides me as if he were their other parent (well, him and Michelle both), he encourages them (and me) and inspires all of us to be great because great is what he is. And what exactly is so great about him? The way he loves. The amount of love he is capable of giving. It is incredible. I know how fucking lucky I am to have him as a father and a grandfather for my kids. They know they are lucky too. They think he is wiser and greater than anyone else’s grandpa (he actually is, though). Our love tanks are pretty damn full but lately there is something that has been bumming me out a little. During the holidays I can’t help but feel a little sad. Nothing major. I don’t have seasonal depression or some shit like that. I have a heart and it beats for my kids, see? I know I have spent a lot of time talking about my divorce. I am kind of over talking about all of that jazz as of late. Probably because I am happy in my personal life (happier than happy). My divorce is just old news, ya know? I mean I have been paroled for almost two years. I am healed (Thank the Lawd!). I am happy and my kids are happy. They don’t express sadness or pain about their dad and I but I can’t help but feel sad for them once in a while. Like they got dealt shit cards in a few ways. Recently I have been fantasizing about what it would be like to have a nuclear family around Christmas time. I think about how fun it would be to decorate a tree together. While watching my kids decorate the tree yesterday I felt a little down. My daughter couldn’t reach taller branches so I lifted her to help her hang ornaments. She loved it. My son was putting all of the hooks on the ornaments for us to hang, handing them to us one by one each time commenting on how each one were more beautiful than the last. As I sat there half enjoying myself, half feeling sad to be half a set of parents at such a special time like this, my son looked at me and said “Mommy, this is really great. We are building a beautiful tree together. We are building beautiful memories together!” Well, I’ll be a monkeys uncle if my son isn’t half a GD prophet. As I sat there feeling sad for my children for missing out on having a complete set of “parents” my children were having the time of their lives building memories with me and one another! I am an asshole. Sometimes I need to stop and realize how powerful my love for them is. It is great! I am devoted to their happiness and committed to their hearts. They aren’t sad because they are fulfilled. My love is enough. My children, my little tiny children, teach me lessons all of the time. I am in awe of them. One thing they know and they know because they have seen it and felt it is love is great and wouldn’t you know it? Greatness takes only love. I am proud of how full of love our home is. The love my children fill my life with is greater than anything I have ever known. Life is good. Love is great.
Beauty goddess. Glamour blogger. Mother and socialite. Feisty spirit with a sassy sense of humor and bold creative vision. Obsessed with products, fashion, and fitness.