Good day, class! Todays lesson is about combative crazy people. I am going to teach you the most effective way to fight with this type of crazy ass and you may be surprised by my philosophy. It has proven to be effective and as crazy as this sounds a crazy person actually introduced me to it. So, how do you fight with crazy? You don’t. Yep. You read that right. You cannot fight with crazy. I mean, you can but you will end up feeling and acting just as crazy as them so put your dukes down and listen up, ya hear? I am a professional.
First off, stop engaging in any form of conversation that cannot be documented. Crazy people are very, very clever and have the most incredible sense of selective hearing. What you say to them will be twisted and turned and when you try to defend yourself they will make you feel like the crazy one (which you are if you keep fighting with them). For example, if you say “Hello. How are you today?” they hear “Go get fucked in your butt.” and then WWIII breaks out. And you’re all like, wtf. I just said Hi. This SOB is crazy. DING DING DING. Crazy indeed. But who keeps fighting with them? So do yourself a solid and hush child. Keep your kind greetings to yourself and see how much more peaceful your life becomes.
Now that you are no longer engaging in undocumented conversation with the heathen, if you must have contact with this person, for whatever reason, keep all conversation limited to text and email. When presented with an email or text message that in the past would have had you flipping the eff out and getting into an argument with crazy (which you are no longer allowed to do because YOU CAN’T FIGHT WITH CRAZY) you will respond very simply and very effectively with a meme. Class, you have no idea how liberating and fulfilled you will feel no longer feeling the need to argue with someone who literally loves to fight with you.
Here are some memes I suggest you save to your smartphones and have handy because at any given moment a crazy SOB could bebop you an email/text and you need to be prepared for that shit.
This one right here is perfection. Use this to respond to any message that chaps your hide.
Now, let’s say for example your ex makes fun of your appearance somehow and they have a flat ass. Michael Jackson’s message will piss them off all while you are laughing.
What if someone who has basically been living to ruin your life tells you that they hate you and they are never ever going to talk to you again? What do you do? Send the squirrel.
Now, what if your ex calls you a whore for dating someone years after you ended your relationship with them. When you are done laughing with your girlfriends about it send him this and then continue laughing with your girlfriends about it.
This one right here is the perfect meme to send in response to a crazy asshole in your life. It will probably piss them off which is hilarious.
You could use one of these as the “Oh, shoot. I meant to send that to my girlfriends.”
Use this in response to say, when your crazy sends a message acting all tough and masculine.
Allow Judge Judy to try them in her meme court.
This one. Brilliant. I def know someone from these parts.
Boom. Now what?
When your crazy sends you a rare, somewhat normal message when all they have been doing is messing with you and being a dick? Send. One. Of. These.
For when they are going frigging bonkers.
Sometimes you just need to tell your crazy to eat a bag of dicks.
Sometimes you need to bring Jesus into it.
Possibly send this when they least expect it, possibly when they are telling you something they think is important.
I think this is the perfect meme to send as a response to every message you ever receive from your crazy SOB.
And this one. This one right here. For the annoying, obsessed crazy who needs to get a GD life. Send.
There you have it, TSPeeps! I hope you have all learned how to deal with some of the nutbags in your lives. It is important to keep your wits about you and not allow them to rob you of your positive energy, time and sanity. Allow other people to be moronic and angry, simply reply to them with memes. We cannot control what people say or do to us but we can certainly control how we react. xo
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