When it comes to hosting friends in our home and throwing parties, I feel like I am doing what I am meant to be doing, throwing parties. I love filling our home with family, friends and laughter. Even if there isn’t a reason to have a party, worry not, I will find one. Well, good news for me I was given a reason to throw a little shindig for friends a couple weeks ago. My college roommate and dear friend Laura will be getting married to the love of her life, Sarah, next month, so my other college roommate, Rose (pink hair) and I were in charge of throwing her a queer bachelorette party. Over the years, I have thrown many parties for brides-to-be. I have filled a room with so many wieners, your head would explode. If I never have to see a male stripper again, I would be totally okay with that. However, I do find some sort of sick pleasure in calling up pizzerias and bakeries asking for food and dessert to be shaped into giant penises. Is that weird? Probably. In any case, this bachelorette party was different than any other one I’ve ever thrown or been to as it was my first queer bachelorette party. I was really excited to create an atmosphere for our girl that didn’t involve humongous wieners and was really looking forward to celebrating the union between two wonderful humans. Knowing Laura very well, I knew this wasn’t going to be a night club and strip club type of party…it was going to be way cooler and way more fun than that! Now you may be thinking, what does the term “queer” mean? Allow Laura to tell you what it means in her own words:
For me, I realized I didn’t feel comfortable subscribing to a specific label when talking about sexual identity, so identifying as “queer” allows me to have a more broad interpretation to who I am. Labels can have quite a bit of baggage, depending on who you’re talking to. The word “queer” has historic roots, too, and at a time, was used in a more pejorative, demeaning manner. That is certainly starting to change, and today the use of “queer” has been reclaimed by many in the community who wish to have a more fluid and open way to identify their sexual and gender orientations. “Queer” now serves as an umbrella term that not only includes those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, but also people who fall in between the traditional “male” and “female” binaries and beyond these labels altogether.
There you have it folks. Thanks Laura! Now that we have cleared up any questions and inquiries, here is how the party rolled out. To be fair, it was more of a bachelorette weekend for the bride. As I mentioned, we were all roommates at DePaul University, yeah Blue Demons! Shortly after we graduated, Laura moved back to her home state, New York. However, her love for Chicago is so strong she just knew it was time to come back and for a very good reason, to celebrate! To begin the weekend, we headed to dinner at Athenian Room in Lincoln Park. Seriously, if you have not visited this gem of a Greek restaurant, you have to. And I shall share with you a little tip – when you order your fries (which you MUST get) order them well done with extra juice. Don’t ask any questions, just do it. You’re welcome. From there we pretended we were in college again and bar hopped from Glascott’s to what was our second home from 2002-2005, McGee’s. Rose worked there for most of our college career so we like to think we are treated like VIP there. Which we kind of are. Thanks Rosie! We proceeded to dance, laugh, make more amazing memories, take regrettable shots, and counsel some college kid that literally fell out of a booth. And when I say fell, I mean more like passed out for the second time. You see, we saw him passed out on the side walk on our way into the bar….it was St. Patrick’s Day after all. Eventually it was time to call it a night. The next day some of us will have forgotten that we were ever at McGee’s, but thanks to Snapchat, we were reminded of it all. Oh and this photo. This photo also triggered some foggy memories of our tomfoolery. We’re basically a pile of humans holding each other upright. Kind of.
Here is a perfect example of how I remember McGee’s. .
Cue to waking up so freaking hungover I wanted to pass away. But no no, I couldn’t do that, after all, I had two classes to teach. I have discussed with you all how horrible it is to teach hungover; there is literally nothing worse. While teaching I reminisced about how back in college we would do what we did the night before, wake up, start drinking again, stay out all night and possibly do it again the next day. That thought alone made me want to barf all over my mat and yoga students. Alas, I lived through two classes and had to prepare for the main event, dinner and party at our house. First thing first I had to pick up the balloons straight after class. I went to my go-to spot, Doolin’s. I decided to go with a rainbow theme to add some flare and pride to the party. I went in, picked out three groups of balloons…red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. I gave them to the man in charge and said I’d like each grouped in a rainbow. I hand him my balloons, he blows them up with helium and I head home with my bags of balloons. Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle when I opened my GD bags of balloons and all the colors were out of order. I was beyond annoyed, I was pissed. Granted I was already slightly irritable due to my hangover, but come on, it’s a freaking rainbow. I was originally super pissed off at the fella at Doolin’s but then realized it was completely my hungover ass’s fault for not explaining to him verbatim what I expected out of my balloon arrangements. It cost me some time, but I cut each damn balloon from it’s ribbon and re-tied each balloon in the correct rainbow order. You can’t throw a damn pride party for your friend with out-of-order rainbow colors. Nope. In the end, they turned out amazing. Voila!
Once Operation Rainbow was settled and the house was ready it was time to go to dinner to one of the most delicious restaurants in the city of Chicago, Spacca Napoli. Laura loves this Italian pizzeria, so we thought it would be a perfect place to bring the bride-to-be. Of course we dined on traditional Italian style brick-oven pizzas, but I’m pretty sure it was the burrata that completely stole her heart. Well, her’s and everyone else’s at the table. Also in attendance for the weekend was our dorm mate and college friend by way of St. Louis, Eric. Eric is now a chiropractor – he makes me laugh really hard and he is still obsessed with Diet Dr. Pepper, just as he was in college when we would steal them from his dorm room. You see, his mom, Cookie, would visit with his dad, Jim, chock-full of groceries. We would appoint someone to distract Eric and would basically rob him of his soda and cereal. DePaul has never seen a heist of that sort since then. Also joining us was our friend Mindy. Mindy didn’t go to school with us. She is best friends with Rose and has since been adopted into our group because we love her so. Unfortunately, some of our other closest college mates couldn’t make the party but Laura is so loved by many that these friends would send surprise messages and secret deliveries (in the form of wine and limoncello) to the table. It was beyond thoughtful of our far away friends and Laura’s fiancé to send love from Minnesota, California and New York City.
Laura loved the Italian (castelvetrano to be exact) olives in the salad so much that she asked the waiter for a box full of them to go. He granted her wish.
Once we finished up our very delicious dinner we headed back to my side of town. Originally we had planned to go to Moody Tongue for some craft beer but the bride-to-be was eager to get to on to the main event….GAME NIGHT. Yup, you read that right. This rowdy group of thirty somethings were heading back home to play fucking cool ass games. Oh, and not only cool ass games, but cool ass games accompanied by glow sticks and pride. Anytime I can add glow sticks to the festivities you can bet your bottom dollar that I will add those damn glow sticks.
Included in our game night were some intense games of Heads Up (download it ASAP), Catch Phrase, Cards Against Humanity and the most competitive of the group and best played when crunked, giant Jenga. Awesome gift for a loved one by the way.
Anyone who’s been to a bachelorette party knows it’s not a bachelorette party of any kind without dessert and gifts. When it comes to gifts for a bachelorette it’s not uncommon to fill up gift bags with gag gifts galore, dildos and lingerie. I would have probably done something of the sort in this case, but it was Rose who came up with an even better idea. Why not get Laura something she actually wants. And you now what she’s had her eye on? A bad ass Dry Bar curling iron…so that’s what our girl got. Of course we couldn’t completely not give her anything sexy so we hooked her up with a stunning In Bloom lingerie robe for her morning of wedding preparation. Oh and of course, more surprises from friends that couldn’t make it in the form of delicious Edible Arrangements. Their salted caramel chocolate covered apples are off.the.hook! Speaking of desserts, remember how I told you how I like to call up places asking for things to be baked or cooked in the shape of giant penises, well I think I also like to do the same for baked boobies. I could have opted for a big ass vagina cake, but while on Pinterest I came about the cutest boob cupcakes I ever did see. I called upon Alliance Bakery knowing they could get the job done and boy did they ever. Not only were these little jugs absolutely perfect, they were incredibly delicious.
All in all, my first queer bachelorette party was a success and a huge freaking blast. But let’s be honest, I can be trapped with these humans in a cardboard box and still have a good time. Because when it really comes down to it, it’s not about the decor, the fucked up balloons or the restaurant, it’s about the people. It is very easy for me to say that I feel like I am surrounded by some pretty profound humans. My friends are my family I get to choose, they let me be me and help me create some of the most magnificent memories I am able to muster up. I am so grateful to Laura for choosing to come to Chicago to reminisce, laugh, sing love ballads on our drives and enjoy some good beers, dance moves and chats. Here are some shenanigans from the evening…
The bride-to-be in all her glory!
The group will be heading to New York in a few weeks to celebrate the marriage of my favorite queer couple there ever was, Laura and Sarah. We cannot be more excited celebrate these two lovebirds! XO
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