It’s me, your beauty mom. I love you, unconditionally. All I want is what’s best for you thus why I am writing you this little love letter. It’s time you step up your spring beauty game, chid. Spring is here whether it feels like it or not so do as your mother says and get yourself together and become a part of the season. You obviously don’t realize you need these things I am about to share with you. Especially my blonde children. Our struggle is real this time of year, I know this first hand. It may be gloomy and rainy but don’t let that stop you from brightening up your day with a pop of color on that sweet little kisser of yours. I am here. Grab my hand and your pocket book and allow me to guide you in the right direction… the poor house. At least you will look and feel beautiful while you are there!
Make Up Forever Ink Liner. One makeup trend I am obsessed with this season is a minimalistic look that is classic and sexy. You will find me sporting a serious jet black winged liner sans eyeshadow this spring and you will most likely want to do as your mother does because… mother knows best. It may take a little practice for some of you but don’t let that stop you from trying the look. Make Up Forever’s Ink Liner is the liner for the look. The applicator is perfectly crafted for precision lining and the product itself is matte and black as hell. Oh, and it won’t go anywhere, either. There will be no bleeding or creasing. Promise. I tend to not line the under eye when I over line the top. Maybe a little wash of something but less is more down there. Curl your lashes and apply mascara. Donezo.
St. Tropez Bronzing Mousse. Those of you who have been following me for years know I am obsessed with this self tanner. But for my newbies, this is the sunless tanner you need. Springtime is when I begin my self tanning regimen which means it is when you should too. For directions on how to apply the most even selfless tan click here. Remember children. A healthy bronzed glow is good. I self tan once a week in the spring. Let’s not go overboard with the tan, eh? Less is more.
L’Oreal Professional Absolut Repair with Lipidium. I am a bottled blonde. No, I swear, it’s totally not natural. Spring comes and so does my desire to be blonder. With going blonder comes some bullshit like dryness, breakage and overall hair damage. But have no fear, mommy is here! My absolute favorite hair conditioning mask for times like this, which I have been using FOREVER, is Absolut Repair by L’Oreal Professional. You cannot get this at a drug store. L’oreal has a few levels of hair care products. We got L’Oreal Paris which is their lowest end (but still really great) hair care product line that you can find in drugstores. L’Oreal Professional is their mid line of hair care products which I LOVE. They are moderately priced and the product is dynamite. Then there is Kerastase which is their high end hair care line which basically blows every hair care line ever created out of the water. Kerastase is pricey as hell so I opt to hit up their professional line sometimes. But when it comes to a deep conditioning/treatment hair mask nothing compares to Absolut Repair. Game changer for anyone who needs some hair repair but also wonderful for everyone once in a great while for added nourishment, shine and treatment.
Shu Uemura Wonder Worker. Holy Crap. This is my newest love. No, I don’t love it more than you. My Hair Fairy of 15 years told me about this stuff recently. I asked her to suggest something for my daughter because she has long, fine hair that tangles like a mother effer. Brushing it every morning has become a nightmare. This is a spray leave in conditioner and it is quite the multi tasker. First of all, it is brilliant when it comes to assisting in detangling my daughters birds nest. I started using it and you guys? It is frigging incredible on processed hair. I have been using it at night when I brush my hair to assist in treating it. However, I have been using a few squirts after I wash my hair and have been letting my hair air dry to avoid using too much heat on it and the results are amazing. Conditions, defrizzes, smoothes and detangles. Did I mention the smell? Just buy it.
Tree Hut Tropical Mango Shea Sugar Scrub. With the warmer weather comes showing off more skin and who wants to be looking at your ashy ass legs and arms? Not yo mama. This is my favorite affordable body scrub. As a matter of fact, I think it is better than most pricey ones. The smell of this goop is tropical and fun and it packs a huge ass punch when it comes to exfoliating. I don’t use it everyday in the shower because I don’t want to remove my tan but I def scrub the shit out of myself the day of my self tanning application. The removal of dead ass skin is essential in applying an even and smooth sunless tanner. Whether you self tan or not, this body scrub needs to be in your shower and a part of your spring beauty regimen.
Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Famous Red. Adding to my minimalistic spring look is this red lip. In my opinion it is the best red lip I have worn in years if not ever. I haven’t been the hugest matte lip fan but this product has changed my mind. It is silky, or velvety I should say, and it stays put without leaving me with the dreaded cracky poo lip. You know. That line of kaka and left over lip color all along the lip near the opening of your mouth? The bright coral pink/red hue is opaque and serious. Just the pop of color your boring ass needs. I have been wearing this lip with a simple eye, like mascara and brows only, and the look is gorgeous and current. Current is good. Join me won’t you?
SNS Dipping Powder Manicures. NEW FAVORITE PRODUCT ALERT! I have been getting my nails done did regularly my entire adult life. One thing I love but have never been able to maintain are long natural nails. I have shit nails. They peel and split. Give me a few no chip manicures and my nails turn into looseleaf paper and blow in the wind. Eventually no chips destroyed my natural nails so much I had to stop getting them. What was next? Artificial nails? Yep. And I love me some long ass fake nails, too. But the damage that leaves me? Nubs. My nail tech suggested I try the “dip manicure”. I was skeptical but she really sold me. Um. My nails are fucking insane and they are mine. Long and gorgeous. Every couple of weeks I go in for a manicure and when the product is removed, my nails are stronger than they were the time before. Stronger and longer. I am not going to get into the application process because I don’t have time for all that. Click here and check out SNS’s website for more info.
MAC Powdered Blush in Prism. Oldie but goodie here, kids. Trends are showing more subtlety when it comes to blush and this one is the one. This muted pinkish brown adds just enough dimension and color without taking over the look. I have been using this bitch since high school and not a day goes by that she isn’t somewhere in my cosmetic arsenal. The minute she runs out I replace her. This color is perfect for all year round but I tend to use her most in spring and summer because I tend to wear less makeup in those months. You’ll love her.
Now go on and be a good boy/girl and listen to your beauty mom. If I see you looking a H.A.M. your ass is grass. Love you!