This week the cast, oops I mean the servers, of Vanderpump Rules had their annual photo shoot and the theme was 50’s greasers and pinup girls. It was a cute idea and of course everyone looked the part and looked good doing it too.
Katie’s bathing suit (same as the blue one in the back) is from American Apparel. I have it in black and I LOVE it! Sexy and comfy.
I want to frame this photo and ship it to Kristin.
I did giggle a little bit at James because I feel like he is still going thru puberty, so I’m confused.
We couldn’t end the season without Kristin being a total psychopath, so lucky for us she came to the finale party and brought her A game. Honestly, at this point I think her and Jax would be match made in a heaven, he was extra, extra creepy on this episode. For those that didn’t see the finale, Jax tells Kristen, Shane and Scheana (on camera, mind you) that Tom did bump uglies with some chick in Miami. Tom calls him out in front of Kristen and Jax pulled the old, “no I didn’t” line out of his butt. Ok for real, does Jax not know that the show is being filmed and everything he says is on camera? I seriously think he missed that bold, underlined, noted in red “EVERYTHING YOU DO IS TAPED” part of his contract. It’d be one thing if he was a cunning manipulator and had everyone fooled, but he’s the exact opposite. No one is fooled, yet they are starting to look like a bunch of dumdums for staying friends with him. As much as I think this show is scripted and so much of it is planned, I do not think Jax’s stupidity is. That, my friends, is as real as it gets. Going back to Kristen, what the actual fuck is wrong with her? She is all sorts of twisted and even though she claimed to finally stop beating this dead horse, I don’t believe it for a second. You totally know she is going to go on the “Tom cheated on Arianna with some girl in Miami” crusade at the reunion. Note to Lisa, firing her solved absolutely nothing, it’s time to ship her back to hell.
Shahs of Sunset
Finally! My favorite Iranians and Persians are back on Bravo and are looking fiercer than ever. There is so much I love about Shahs of Sunset. To begin, I adore their love for each other and their families. They completely celebrate the relationships they have and it’s usually by eating beautiful, delicious amounts of food and drinking copious amounts of champagne. One day I will share with you all what happens to me when I drink copious amounts of champagne. Let’s just say it’s in everyone’s best interest that myself and the bubbles stay as far away from one another or else. It appears that champagne may have the same effect on Mike. I can tell when Mike is on his way to the point of no return when his hair gets messy, he gets a bit of the googly eyes and Mr. Nice Guy is absolutely no where to be found. He needs a high voltage collar that his girlfriend can shock him with when the time is right!
Something else I love about this show is learning about their culture and picking up new words here and there, like this one:
Anyone coming over to my house for New Year’s Eve better be ready to jump over some fire. I frigging love this tradition!
Ok, we need to talk about this new chick, Asifa. I love all the girls on this show, it’s the one show where I can say that and mean it. But now with this new ding dong coming to town, that statement may no longer be true. She’s annoying. I had to rewind and listen to what she says in confessional (such an MTV Real World term, but whatvs) three times because I couldn’t quite catch what she says. Am I understanding this correctly? Did she hold up a Starbucks cup thinking that since there is a logo on it the scene would automatically be cut in post production? Like she found a secret loop hole to talking shit about people without it ending up on tv? It can’t be possible that she is that dumb, so can someone please confirm this for me? K? Thanks.
As I just mentioned, I love the chics from Shahs. Yeah, Gigi is a bit bonkers, MJ gets off the wall hammered here and there and Asa is completely one of a kind. But that’s what I love about these girls. I mean, this girl is fierce and she owns who she is. Go girl.
Of course there was a fight on the first episode back. I think it’s fair to say that if Mike gets hammered and someone he hates shows up to the party, shit will hit the fan. That or he’ll steal your jacket as a “souvenir.” LOL, I can’t. I also can’t wait to see what the season brings! I can only expect plenty of vacations and parties, an engagement, tons of yummy food, a shitload of champagne, at least ten huge fights, Reza (my favorite) will have a perfectly groomed mustache the entire season and Gigi will try to stab someone at least twice. One can only hope!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
To say I felt butthurt the entire first twenty minutes of this week’s episode is a complete understatement. Holy F. Honestly, I can see all sides of the story. Kim did shut Lisa down on the flight, perhaps that should have ended that convo for good. And how about Yolanda inviting the ladies to “express” anything they want to bring to the table at dinner? Seriously? Or in other words, let’s turn it up in Amsterdam! Or perhaps we back track a little and discuss the fact that Kim’s dumb ass (the other word I would use is highly inappropriate) of a best friend Brandi basically told Lisa R at lunch a few episodes back that Kim is possibly relapsing. There is so much that has gone it’s no wonder these women are where they are now. It’s ridiculous and it all came to a head this week. Um, Kim Richards almost passed away in Amsterdam because Lisa R almost murdered her at the dinner table. I actually love how she went about it. Not the throwing of the glass so much as the slow standing from the table, nose flared and eyes popping out of her head, “you don’t touch my husband”. Sccurrrrrrrrrrrrrry. It scared the shit out of me thru the television so I can only imagine how frightening it was in person. If I were Kim I totally would have sharted (combination nervous fart/poop) in my pants, but then again I wouldn’t go there, so no diapers needed here! These expressions say it all.
Kim was NOT having the sobriety talk again. #deadface
Note to self: don’t EVER touch the topic of Harry Hamlin. Copy that.
And of course the aftermath look of, “Ok, maybe we are fucking crazy”.
I think Kim is a total bitch to Kyle, it sucks. But at the same time Kyle needs to put her big girl pants on and finally put Kim in her place. Sisters fight, yes. But the constant disrespect and “shhhh-ing”? Omg, my head would explode.
This is the look Lisa R made when she opened the door and saw Kim standing there. Hey there little fella.
I totally was NOT expecting Kim to show up the next morning, but I’m glad she did. I’m also thrilled these two dingalings handled this situation with such class (that’s a new one for Kim this season) and made amends…well, for now.
Brandi is the world’s biggest buzzkill. If I had just eaten a pot brownie and she started with her bullshit, I would have given a Red Light District prostitute $100 to hog tie her in a dark basement somewhere and leave her until morning. 100%.
Oh. Who’s that gentleman with the beautiful, brown grill? Here is your answer to a perfect Wednesday. Cheers!
PS. The Real Housewives of Melbourne are making the cut for GHMP!!!xoxo