I think it’s fair to say that we have all had to work with many kinds of characters in our lives, some that are super cool as well as some that are quite unsavory. There are all sorts of co-workers: the diligent ones, the weird ones, the slackers, the over achievers, the ass kissers, the awesome ones, the annoying ones, heck, I can categorize myself under at least two of those. However, there is one type of co-worker which I just don’t have time for – the betch at work. Whether the said betch is your peer or your boss, working for or with this type of person is the pits because they make it pretty much impossible for you to thrive or be semi-happy in your place of employment. Everyday I would chain smoke my way to work because I was so petrified for the day ahead…imagine what ten cigis and raging anxiety do to your digestive system. Good times.
Prior to where I am now, teaching yoga and blogging, I had worked in the television industry, horse racing industry, public relations, marketing, my early yoga years and go ahead and sprinkle in a few other industries in there. I can finally say that at all my current places of employment, I do not have to deal with one betch in the work place and it feels frigging good! Praise Jesus!
Now before I get anyone’s panties in a bunch, I get that women in the work place need to be strong, assertive and persistent. I’m that way in my own industry. You slack, you lose. However, there is a difference between working your ass off and being successful with being a horrendous human being in the work place and needing an exorcism. I’m talking about rumor starting, high school snickering, trying to run you over in your VW Bug type of behavior. Yes, that actually happened, but she missed me and damn near ran over her own husband. Thank goodness there was a light pole for him to jump and cling to. However, he was just as bad as her so it was a bit disappointing. This same couple accused me of drinking on the job to get me fired, which anyone that knows me knows I drink after the job is done. By taking the right steps, they were the ones written up for false accusations and defamation of character. And for what? All because they just didn’t like me or the role I had in the company. Looking back, I find these moments totally hilarious and fun to share, but at the time I was pretty bothered by this crap to the point that there were often tears and lots of online searches for career therapy. Seriously? Working to pay for work therapy? Sad. Although I was not alone, as my co-workers were also in on the search for therapy. Unfortunately, this situation is much more common than we would all like, so below I have listed a few ways to help those who work with betches. Let me preface this with…of course there are some monstrous men in the work place, I’ve dealt with one maybe two, but my personal experiences of work place woes were of the female kind. That being said, these tools can help with anyone that is a turd to you at your job.
How to Deal with Betches at Work:
It’s not me, it’s you. For real. Typically, if it’s not just you that has the problem with the she-devil in the workplace, they’re the one with issue and as hard as it may be, having thick skin will help you survive.
Confide and cry it out. Remember that thing I said about it being hard to have thick skin? Yeah, sometimes you’ll need a good friend or co-worker’s shoulder to cry it out on. It can be pure frustration, so let those tears roll. Just don’t let the betch catch ya doing it.
Knock, knock HR, ya there? No one wants to tell on someone else, but also no one should be expected to endure terrible treatment or abuse from another colleague. Tell it like it is and take advantage of the support that Human Resources should give you. They are there to look out for you and make sure the employees are happy, let them help you get happy.
Get some therapy. I am all for talk therapy. Had I not had the ability to leave a former place of employment, I for sure would have been couching it to get me thru the days. There are some very well educated and helpful therapists out there that specialize in career and work therapy. They can help you manage your feelings, understand the situation, and learn to be productive despite having stress and possible depression brought on by butt holes in the workplace. The worst.
Try to talk it out. In each of my experiences, I took the chance and tried to talk it out with the individual. I’m not going to lie, it didn’t go well. Hence, the attempted VW Bug rundown and at another place a woman screaming at me in Spanish with her eyeballs popping out of her little head. That was actually really scary. For all I know she could have been putting a curse on me. But, you never know, at least you can say you tried. Just be sure to have some holy water and a crucifix with you if need be.
Talk to your boss. I was very fortunate to have an awesome boss who once helped me deal with some crazy lady’s BS. If you have a boss you can trust and they are normal human beings, believe me, they know something is up. He or she may not be able to totally fix the problem, but they could be your ally and cheerleader and stick up for you when you need them to. And like I said, your boss already knows the other person is nuts, so it makes for a fun venting sesh.
Anyone want some wine? Seriously, head home or meet a friend and unwind with a glass of wine. Or go do some yoga, make out with somebody or do some retail therapy. Do SOMETHING that makes you feel better and makes you happy. Don’t let that F$%*#$ at work ruin the time you’re not at work. Screw that.
Dear Diary. Vent it out on paper! That’s what I would do and it would help because sometimes I would go back to what I wrote and be like – Holy shit! This person really is insane! It would actually have me laughing and feeling better. Plus, it makes for good storytelling years later.
I quit. No one typically wants to just straight up quit their job, but sometimes when the company has 3-5 employees and the head honcho is a soul-crushing human being and there is no HR, sometimes you just have to walk away for your own sanity and well being. I’ll share the same advice my dad always gave me and that is to ALWAYS have something lined up before you quit. Tough it out and when you get the “you’re hired” call go ahead and send that “you’re fired” email. With that being said, I recommend to always have in writing via email form your letter of resignation, thank them for the opportunities they gave you and wish them luck in the future. Basically, kill ’em with kindness. I remember I was so scared to quit my job, I wrote the entire email and had my mom press SEND. LOL – Best thing I (or my mom rather) ever did!
Share your story. What better way to make yourself feel better than to know you’re not the only one with a betchy boss or coworker. And what better place to do so than right here on TSP. Go for it!
For those of you struggling at work, keep your head up, be awesome and do and find what makes you happy!!! Best of luck out there TSPeeps!
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