Good day, TSPeeps! Nicole here. Our number 1 guest blogger and TSP’s favorite Chinese sister, Winnie, is back at it with her dating app rundown. Now, for those of you who use dating apps, right on! I mean, it is 2016 for crying out loud. For those of you who are reluctant to go on dating apps or still hanging onto those lame, negative feelings about dating apps or any apps at all, get with the program. If you want to make out with someone, get laid, or even better, find a frigging partner in life, start using them. I happen to know a really nice girl who met a really nice boy on one of them 😉 Take Winnie’s advice and find yourself a frigging lover. Take it, Winnie!
It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. For those of you singletons who still haven’t taken the plunge into the murky waters of online dating, now’s the time. With apps that you can install directly onto your phone, your next date or rendezvous can be as close as a swipe away. I’ve been on various apps for a while now, so I’ll share some of my thoughts and help you narrow down your choice before you start revving up your loins.
Please note that I’ve skipped some of the big ones – eHarmony, Tinder and Match.com. Here’s why:
- I don’t have the attention span to complete the eHarmony questionnaire properly. I started once and ended up half-assing the majority of it and “picking c” for every question. I still somehow ended up getting matched with a close friend who I view as a brother. No thanks.
- I’ve always seen Tinder as more of a hookup app. As Amy Schumer once told a room full of respectable people, “I can catch a dick whenever I want”. The harder part is finding someone I want to hang out with in broad daylight.
- The same motherf@!*ers on Match.com are on OkCupid and OkCupid is free.
Ok, now down to the nitty-gritty.
- Bumble – Requires Facebook account. Very similar to Tinder (in fact, Bumble’s cofounder is Tinder’s ousted cofounder). Very simple interface, matches are made through swiping, but only chicks get to make the first contact and she has 24 hours to do it before the match disappears. This cuts through a lot of the crap that makes online dating unappealing. No more weird unwelcome messages from grody men asking if I want to love them long time. Ladies are forced to be more proactive. Guys in turn are more likely to respond because they are already assured that the girl is at least mildly interested.
- Coffee Meets Bagel – Requires Facebook account. This app honestly skews Asian, white and Jewish. Majority of users are very highly educated and the app boasts that the ten most represented alma maters are NYU, Columbia, UPenn, Harvard, Michigan, Berkeley, Boston University, Stanford, Cornell and UCLA (overachievers rejoice!). If you’re worried about being overwhelmed, this might be the app for you. Users get only one match (they call it a Bagel) per day at noon and you either like or pass. If the match is mutual, you get to chat. If you pass, you actually get to provide feedback and select one of many fairly specific reasons as to why you weren’t interested.
- OkCupid – This is a more traditional app. Users can send messages immediately or do the swiping thing. I prefer the more fleshed out profiles that OkCupid has, because I need to know if a guy can string together a sentence and has above 6th grade reading level before I think about our house with the white picket fence. However, because there isn’t really a control in traffic, there will be unwelcome messages. See Exhibit A below.
- Plenty Of Fish – Ah….POF, the wayward stepchild of the bunch. For some reason, most of the users here seem like they could use Hooked On Phonics and/or a round of antibiotics. Honestly I was going to delete my account but decided to hold off until after I finished writing this post. Lo and behold, the next day I started a dialogue with someone who seems to follow societal norms, is attractive and gainfully employed. How refreshing. I guess I’ll keep the account active for another few days.
There you have it, kids. Go forth, have fun and date!