Last Sunday while at my mom’s house I thought I’d look in the basement for some Easter decorations. For some reason I thought she had heaps of Easter bunnies and pastel plastic eggs, but I was barely finding much of anything, so I continued searching. Right when I was about to give up and head back upstairs empty handed, I noticed a big green storage container. I knelt down and started going through all of the photos this huge box contained. I noticed they were mostly mine from my childhood up to about when I was 18 years old. After making my way halfway through the photos I noticed an adorable vintage looking baby book of some sort that I had never seen before.
I automatically assumed it was either Michelle or my little brother’s for some reason. In any case, I pulled it out, opened it and what I found inside was like magic. It was my baby book. Inside were my mom and my hospital bracelets, my bow from my newborn photo, a newspaper clipping with my birth announcement, stamps of my little feet and my birth certificate, which before that moment I had never seen and thought was gone forever. Before I knew it, my eyes were welling up with tears. As I turned each page I read who came to visit mom and I in the hospital when I was born and the gifts they brought me, all written in my mom’s very familiar, feminine handwriting.
The more I perused, the more little messages I found from mom. Little sweet notes telling me what kind of baby I was and what I liked. According to Mama June, I was a “very happy baby”, I LOVED my bottle, and I “squealed a lot at five months”. As I grew to become a little toddler she wrote that I loved McDonald’s and Christmas…I was utterly obsessed with them both, I remember. I was so obsessed with McDonald’s cheeseburgers that I had cheeseburger button covers. Sadly, this is all true. I have since lost my love for McDonald’s, but I swear, if I could listen to carols and chat about Santa all year round, I would. These little messages from my mom shot straight to my heart. Mama June has grown very quiet these days. She is happy, but she quiet. So to hear her speak to me through these little messages were nothing short of a gift. But there was one message in particular that caused the flood gates to open.
She writes: At 3 yrs years old you tripped and knocked out your two front teeth. A retainer is placed in. Your (sic) still beautiful.
And that is when I ugly cried for a good five minutes by myself as I was kneeling on the concrete of her basement floor. It was that last sentence that was filled with so much motherly love and compassion. The words that only a mom could say to you when you are feeling sad, or ugly, or not good enough. The type of love from a mother, that only a mother can truly give and one can feel. It was also the timing. The past few weeks have been different as she has become, often, as quiet as a mouse. Even though I am not three, but thirty three, I still yearn to hear my mom say anything to me. Whether it’s “I love you”, “you’re beautiful” or even “go get me water”, I would take whatever I could get to just hear her talk to me again. And she did, directly to me, through little notes she wrote to me thirty years ago. Almost as if placed right where I found them at the perfect moment I would need to see them.
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. And there is a reason I went searching for Easter decorations that day and didn’t find any. I found something much more needed and much more loved.
There is magic all around us, you just have to open your eyes wider and look for it. You will find it.
Love it. Live it. Share it.
Oh, this is so sweet!! Makes me feel bad that I decided to forgo the baby book for Evelyn… :/
Start a book now! It’s never too late. Thank you for reading, Anna. XOXO
Lauren this is so beautiful. I’m in tears. So happy you found this!!
Me too! It was like a magical, little gift. So grateful. Thank you for reading, Linda! XOXO
Love this……
Thank you, Tina. XO
I remember those cheeseburger button clips!! Beautiful story Laur 🙂 xo
Omg, lol! I’m so glad someone else remembers! Thanks for reading, Megan, miss you! XO
What a lovely gift from your mom – you were meant to find it.
I totally agree. Completely meant to be. Thanks for reading, Lee. XOXO
I’m in tears at this beautiful story. So so touching. I’m glad you found “what you were looking for.” A mother’s love is eternal…
Me too, Maryclare. So glad. And exactly what I was looking for, I just didn’t know it. Thank you for reading, can’t wait to see you soon! xoxo
You’ve always had the best accessories! ?
Lol, I sure did! Button covers, headgear, sports goggles/glasses…to name a few. Thank you for reading, Katie. XOXO
Beautiful story. You got me reaching for a box of tissues. I’m so happy you found that book at a time when you needed to hear her voice the most.❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Lisa. It was definitely meant to be. Love you. XOXO
Well this just made me sob. Moms are truly the best. I’m so happy you found this special treasure from the one who loves you lots.
Grab a tissue girl! lol. 🙂 It’s one of those good cries, you know. Bittersweet. Thank you for reading, Kathleen. XO
“Almost as if placed right where I found them at the perfect moment I would need to see them.” So moving! xo
Thanks bella. I decided to leave the details of the “ugly cry” to the imagination. Thank you for reading, XOXO
Lauren, who knew you and your sisters were such great writers!!! June is always in my thoughts and prayers
Thanks Linda…for the positive thoughts/prayers and for thinking we’re great writers. YAY! I’ve been looking for an outlet for a long time…we finally came up with one. Enjoy your week. XOXO
Such a beautiful post. Love you and Junebug❤️
Thank you Michele. Love you! XO
Wow that’s really great,it’s just so hard to see your mom so different. What a great book to find .
It was such an amazing find indeed! Makes such a big difference, it helps. Thank you as always for reading and for your comments, Jean. Love hearing from you. xo
Such a beautiful post, Lauren! What an amazing find. As soon as you mentioned your mom’s feminine handwriting, I could picture it, and the photo at the end was exactly as I remembered. (Who knows why I remember what your mom’s handwriting looks like but I totally do! Probably because it’s so perfect and pretty.)
Ohhhhhh I love that you remember it too. She had such good writing. Easy to forge too in high school, LOL. And yes, such an amazing find…completely serendipitous. Thank you so much for reading, Katie. LBM dinner soon. XOXO
Such a powerful message. I was never very good at keeping records and filling in the baby books, but as you have said its never too late. I tend to text and email so much these days that I don’t take time to write letters or journal on paper. Thanks for sharing. Time for me to start writing for my kids!
Thank you for reading Joan. These days with so much new technology, it makes it easy to forget the old fashioned way of doing things. Even a hand written card would be a beautiful treasure to hold onto. Get after it! LOL! It’s fun too! XOXO
What would we do without our cherished memories of our mums. I too feel like ugly crying.
Ugly crying is the only way to cry sometomes. Hehe! Thank you so much for reading Fujio! And so great hearing from you too! xo
LOVE this post! So sweet.
Thank you so much for reading, Sara. XOXO
What an extraordinary and beautiful gift. I’m so touched and so happy for you Lauren!
It’s Nicole that usually turns in the water works for me but dang women…this is deep.
Bless you.
❤️
Thank you TJ. It was certainly a beautiful gift. One I definitely needed at that moment, I just didn’t know it. Thank you for reading. XO
The beauty and love contained within memories are priceless and you are blessed to hear her memory through writing. I’m so glad she spoke to you, in her voice as the mom of small children that she loved deeply. Xoxo!
They are super priceless indeed! Such a special find. Thank you for reading, Danielle. XOXO
Beautiful post! Glad I did baby books, even though they are not as complete as they should be. Sorry to hear about your mom. It’s hard to watch our loved ones decline in health. I seem to remember attending a “Multiples” party at your house! You girls all looked so cute wearing them! I will keep all of you in my prayers.
Beautiful.
That’s so nice! I loved when I found the birthday card she wrote me!❤
Lauren this made me well up in tears. Your words express so much of what I’m going through with my own mom. It helps to know there are others out there going through the same struggle.
Certainly touches me, Lauren. My oldest son was also born in ’82, 2/20. 1982 was his first Christmas too, so touches home. Just texted him a caring note. I’m just beginning this journey myself, though have a mom deep in hers. Thanks for writing, and for pointing my attention so memorably to my sons I want to connect with, be supportive of, and loving to, while I still can. <3
I found out yesterday that this is what my mom has. Its both terrifying and a relief to know she doesn’t just not care. I have two sisters and I will be sending them this blog. Thank you and I’m sorry. One of my formerly sharp-witted Mom’s favorite sayings was “This too shall pass”. Loss is never simple.