Nine Things You Didn’t Know About Me

I feel like many TSPeeps only know me as a music loving, traveling, mom loving yogi…yet, there is a bit more to me that I’d love to share with you all. Indeed I love traveling and drinking copious amounts of red wine, but did you know that I was the real life Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I bet you didn’t, so that is why today I thought I’d share some things about myself that you may not know about. Below are nine things that make me who I am today – the good, the bad and the weird.

White magic woman. During my preteens and early teens I was Wiccan. I would buy books on spells (only good ones, of course) and I would go to our local sorcery store (Shout out to Blue Feather in La Grange) and would then cast spells in my bedroom. All I wanted was to be a real life Wiccan witch. Sh*t, if I were to be totally honest, I still do. There was something else I did as a youngin. I had a backpack filled with holy water, a bible, a small pocket knife, mace (just in case I met a creep) and a wooden stake. I would ride my bike to our church and sneak into the little courtyard. To sneak in I would have to squeeze my prepubescent boobs, which hurt so bad, between a small brick opening. It was not easy. Then I would sit and wait for vampires to arrive because I wanted to kill them and save the western suburbs. I never did meet a vampire, but still want to! #fangbanger

Traffic on the Eisenhower will be horrendous near Austin and Harlem, per usual. From 2006-2009 I was working hard on another career dream of mine. At the time I was an entertainment reporter for an international horse racetrack and had a brief stint on NBC 5 Chicago as a morning traffic reporter. I loved being in front of the camera. I never in a million years thought I would be capable of speaking in front of 40,000 people, but for that time, it was my true calling and a very special time in my life. I learned so much about myself and the world of horse racing. Oh boy, do I have some stories.

NOPE. When it comes to fears, I have one that will stop me in my tracks and cause immediate paralyses. Cockroaches. I just can’t. Whether they are big, small, fly or hiss…I literally want to throw up and die when I encounter one. However, the good thing is, if I happen to see one, I lose my appetite for close to 24 hours and can’t go near food. #silverlining

We can all dream, can’t we? Growing up, I wanted to be a professional ballroom dancer and a professional fencer. I watched the Aussie film, Strictly Ballroom, and I immediately became obsessed with Australians (years later I would find me self an Aussie bestie) and all the wonderful things that encompass ballroom dancing. The extreme hair, makeup and dresses were love at first sight. Then when I found out about the stealth uniforms fencers wore, I was enamored. I have yet to take a fencing lesson, but it’s in the works. I’m going after this one!

Peace dude. I am totally a gigantic hippie at heart. I’m not sure where it came from, but I embrace it. Perhaps a former me was alive in the 1960’s and was a total flower child? I love everything about the fashion, the drive for peace, the music, that joints were the thing to puff on back in the day and not these fancy, battery operated mechanisms, the list goes on and on. It was such an exciting, curious and crazy moment in history. There was so much going on and I think if I were alive back then, I most definitely would have identified with that group of people. I like to think I am a hybrid version of a 2016 hipster/hippie.

Marcia Marcia Marcia! You got that right, I am totally the middle child. It didn’t help my cause that I would watch The Brady Bunch and totally feel for Jan as well. I’m sure over the years I had a bit of Middle Child Syndrome going on. Throw in some hyper sensitivity and we’re having fun now! I was definitely a little bit of a Debbie Downer and felt like the forgotten, weird middle child. But then again, I was weird. Or rather…I am weird. In any case, when I got my head out of ass, I realized I was just as cool, unique and special as my siblings and ran with it. We’re all good now, lol!

Old people make me cry. I don’t know what it is, but ever since I was young if an old person, I’m talking 80’s and up, cried, I would cry. Whether it’s on TV or in person, water works. Sometimes, even if they’re not crying and they’re just an old cute couple, I cry. They’re just so frigging cute, I can’t help it.

Just like Mariah Carey, I too, have a good side. If you were to take a gander at any photos I am in, I am often if not always on the left side facing the camera. It’s my good side. And I know exactly why that is. I had a nose job many years ago and was recently told that it was indeed a botched one. Great. One side is actually different than the other side. So once I found out which side to go with, I took a few pointers from Paris Hilton, which is to have a go to side/pose and then I snap away. Listen, once you know your good side (unless you’re a lucky B like Nicole and all sides are good), find a stance that works for you and either say “Cheese!” or “Prruuuune.” and you’re good to go! (“Prune” is the Olsen Twins photo secret – it’s half duck face, half smile. It’s mine and Michelle’s go to.)

I was someone’s nemesis. I didn’t want to leave you hanging on the racetrack stories, so I’ll tell you about a woman I worked with that hated me so much, I’m 100% positive she wanted me dead. As I mentioned up above, I was hired to be the entertainment reporter for the racetrack. I had a very specific role. Have fun, be cute and engage the crowd. There was a very pretty bugler who had been with the park for a few years before my arrival and for that time she was the park’s token girl. So, when I showed up, she was not happy. And I mean f*cking furious. The park’s higher ups and television department wanted us to work with one another on TV so bad.  Me being sensible and knowing that two hot blondes is always better than one, plus throw in some girl power, I was game. Nope, not the bugler. She was not game at all. In fact, she was so not game that she went to HR in desperation to get me fired and told them I had been drinking on the job and that I was drunk. I am The Knife’s daughter, I would never drink on the job. Not only would I have to answer to the park, I would have to answer to my father, which would be 1,000 times worse. You could imagine how hard HR and myself laughed at this accusation. She was later written up for falsely accusing me. Now, on the last night of the season, she had at this point lost all control of herself. She came up to me, yelled “slut” at me and ran out the front door. Not joking, that was the only word she had ever said to me over the course of 2.5 years. I was so intrigued by it and practically happy about it, I followed her outside. When I got out the door, she was in her green VW bug and tried to run myself and some other people over. I’m not kidding. Whether it was intentional or she was blinded by fury, she came at us so fast that even her own boyfriend had to jump up a light post to evade her and save his sorry ass. Ladies, support and love one another, don’t try to kill them. That’s f-ing crazy. Oh man, I hope she’s in a better place these days. #prayers

There you have it TSPeeps! I’m a weird, Wiccan, former TV personality that wants to ballroom dance across Australia. I know you have some cool ass secrets I don’t know about…don’t be shy, share in the comments below. It’s so liberating!

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