As many of you already know, our mom was diagnosed with FTD nearly 2 years ago. To say this process has been an epic journey thus far is an understatement. Just like a little kid that goes through various phases and changes as they develop, so does one with a brain disease like dementia. We are simply doing our best to go with the flow and roll with the phases as they come. On a high note, my family has come together and we are stronger than ever and hell-bent and determined to provide June Bug with the mac daddy of care and peace as she travels this road.
Currently, we are at a point where we need to simplify our mom’s living situation. Ultimately, we know this process is going to be quite long. A move closer also makes sense as I am assuming a large portion of this responsibility. The actual thought of my mom moving closer to me has me top hat and caning it all over town. And, her current home is simply too big. For two months I explored condo living as an option. Her wish is to be taken care of in her home and she is fortunate to be able to do so. In that case, her wish is my command. Now the question is not where she is moving, it is what is she moving into? A condo didn’t seem right. I could feel it in my gut. And to be honest, she was never a condo kinda gal. It wouldn’t have been what she wanted. My siblings agreed. I shelved the condo plan and went back to the drawing board.
And like always, when I wasn’t really looking, or was I? It appeared. I was driving down a street in my neighborhood for the 900th time and the most darling white brick cape cod had gone on the market. Can I be a bit dramatic? It was like a beacon of hope and light. I’m not kidding. Within a day I was inside and a week later an offer was made. Something in my gut said this was the right thing to do. So I did!
“And suddenly you know…it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings.”
We brought my mom to see the place and since that moment there has been a shift. Lots of smiles and genuine laughs. She’s good! Peaceful. Calm. She was excited. I was sure of it. But then again, never too sure. Because don’t forget, she barely speaks and any semblance of emotion comes in the form of a laugh usually when Nicole is putting on a show. Last week when I was hanging with her, one of her caregivers had told me how my mom first directed her to my house on the way home from her haircut and then went on to take her to the new house where she pointed and said, “That’s my house.” SWOON! It was official. She gets it. She’s good with it. She is looking forward. My heart exploded. Magic.
Then this past weekend, she and I sat in front of her house and watched the kids climb their favorite tree in her yard and I started sharing some photos from Pinterest with her. That is what we would have been doing if she didn’t have dementia, why not, right? I could tell when she didn’t approve of something because she would swipe fast. If she was digging whatever bit of inspiration I was showing her, she would tap it twice like she was saying, “Now this I like.” I needed to be tethered to my chair that day because it was a hopeful moment. She and I connected again on something we once loved doing together and it was this very moment that reassured me that this move was what we should be doing. Suddenly, I was looking forward. I was excited for the future and for her future and for our project to make a home for her… with her. Magic.
I realized that being afraid of moving her didn’t have to be bad. It wasn’t something that I needed to dread. The change for her will be an adjustment, but I know she isn’t afraid and so neither am I. I am so trusting the magic of new beginnings as I have experienced bits of it already and the fun hasn’t even begun. If this isn’t making lemonade out of lemons then I don’t know what is, but for the love of Pete, it can’t all be bad. I am grasping at the magic and looking forward to the future and I can’t wait!
Beautiful. Just amazing.
Love you.
So well said Michelle. You continue to impress me, inspire me and ooze positive energy abundantly?
Your are a strong empowering woman.
Your heart is gigantic and your family is so lucky to have you. Never give up hope…love is amazing and family bonds lift you up to places you never dreamed you could go.
Hold on to the special moments…it’s what gets you through more difficult days. Every family needs a leader. Someone that holds us all together…through good times and not so great times. You’re amazing?
Love ya girl!
Carol
Thanks. That means a lot. You are my positivity mentor.
Your mom did such a wonderful job with her children! She brought you to it and will get you through it.
All she cared about was her legacy. Us. I’d say she nailed it.
Sometimes everything just falls perfectly into place…
Tears of happiness in my eyes as I read this because you are finding the joy, just like you always do. Love you and what a wonderfully, good person you are–comes from your momma.
We have been through a lot together. Couldn’t get through the half of it without you. Love you and don’t cry. Dry your eye.
So beautifully written, and with such positive and hopeful perspective on a really heartbreaking situation. You are an inspiration, Michelle.
Thank you Kathleen. Your kind words inspire me.
wonderful! you are an amazing daughter. xoxo
Almost as amazing as you Crissy. How’s that new baby? Anyone sleeping over there? xo
This is beautiful! Your mom is beautiful! You are all beautiful! Love
Thank you for sharing such intimacy and love; we love your family!
As always, you express what is difficult, heartbreaking, draining and inspirational, in a beautiful but relatable, manner. Thank you for sharing and bless you all for the love of family you all just ooz. You all make me smile and your mother and father had everything to do with that. xo. ?????
Things have a way of ending up the way they need to be. You had to spend the time focusing on condos until her house was ready for you to find. I love that you found the right space, that she gets it and that there are things you know she would like in her new space. Being closer to your house will be wonderful. Good job, Mama.