Kindness

So this one time while I was in the ladies restroom at Thalia Hall I was bitching about my hair. Years of bleaching wreaked havoc on it, hence why I went back to my natural hue. My best Aussie, Deanna, and I have an ongoing joke that our hair is basically as dry and brittle as a synthetic wig. You know in the movies when a gust of wind comes by and a beautiful woman’s hair blows elegantly behind her? Yeah, no. Ours more or less shifts in one piece to the side, often across our eyes, blinding us. It’s in the least bit glamorous. In any event, I was chatting with my friend about how I’m so over it and want to chop it all off when some chick standing in the mirror next to me said, “you see your hair everyday, but to me, right now it looks beautiful.” Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, that sweet hipster put a GD positive spin to my evening like no other. Who would have thought a complete stranger, who I’m certain I will never see again, could completely alter my state of mind and mood? I still thought my hair looked like straw, but her thoughtfulness was stunning. It takes a special person to speak up out of nowhere and say something nice to someone just for the hell of it.

I am sharing this story because holy shit have I seen so much negativity the past few months, especially on social media. So much so that at one point for like a half of a second, I considered taking a timeout from Facebook. But alas, my addiction and love for social media is stronger than all the Negative Nellies out there. Come on folks, I know the country is divided and people want to hate on each other and celebrities (for reasons I’m still unsure of), but let’s get it together people. I totally get that sometimes in life it’s easier to complain and focus on the negatives, since they’re so accessible and they exist daily. But perhaps it’s our job to reach in and dig a little deeper to find the good stuff to focus on. Kindess, as well as happiness, is contagious if we’re willing to share it with one another – like my friend in the bathroom did with me. Here’s the deal, on a daily basis my eyes are ready to well up with tears when I think of my mom. I can for sure sit and simmer in the heartbreak that is her situation and every so often I let those tears flow. However, when it comes to the mindset of this particular situation, I must, and I mean fucking must focus on the fact that she is so beyond loved and so well taken care of or else homegirl over here is going to go on a fast downward spiral into sadness and grief. For example, the other day during an incredible yoga class the teacher ended it with a song. This particular song reminds me of a really sad time when our mom first was showing signs of dementia. I almost had to leave the room or ask her to change the song so I didn’t have a complete breakdown on my yoga mat. This isn’t unheard of, but I didn’t want to go there as I was really having such an uplifting, beautiful day. It took me a moment to emotionally and mentally collect myself. I Jedi-mind-tricked myself to focus on the good of her situation: my wonderful family, her new found happiness in her new home, my loving husband, her caregivers, her more constant smile, and the list can actually go on and on.

I’m sharing this because I know we all have sad experiences, annoyances, grief, self-doubt and uncertainties. We all have a struggle, some more than others. In order for us to be decent to each other, we need to be gentle to ourselves, try to cultivate a positive and grateful mindset and then we need to share that love and kindness with one another. If we can try, among all the bullshit and banter, to focus on the positive and share some love with complete strangers, I feel like the world could be a better, more pleasant place to coexist. You never know when you may just pick someone up at a moment when they are feeling really, really down.

Peace and love TSPeeps, keep it real. XOXO

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