@harlimarten
Have you ever said “yes” to something only to realize later (or maybe even immediately) that what you really wanted was to say “no”?
Fear and guilt can be the culprits behind this phenomenon. In saying yes we may think we’re doing ourselves a favor, but we can also be creating anxiety and elevated levels of stress. In fear of letting someone else down, we may say yes to a loved one or co-worker just so we don’t disappoint them – putting ourselves on the backburner. Or perhaps we only said yes out of fear that saying no would be a massive mistake.
Often times saying “no” is so much harder than saying “yes”, so we take the easy way out…but is it really that much easier in the long run?
Recently I have had to say no to a few things that I initially felt like I should have said yes to. However, my mind and heart knew I needed to take a pass so they persevered. If I didn’t end up saying no, I would currently be both stressed and annoyed with myself for not having the courage to do what I felt was truly best for me. Plus, if I said yes to a few things – I potentially could have lost other opportunities I have waited so patiently for.
Why is saying “no” such a good feeling sometimes? Because it creates room for more incredible things and people to come our way. In other words, saying “no” makes space for more “yes”!
***
Here are some things to say no to:
Opportunities that don’t serve you.
When exciting opportunities arise it’s natural to want to say YES! Jump for joy and celebrate. But not all new opportunities are equal. An amazing opportunity can come up, but it may not be the true one you are waiting for. If your heart and gut are telling you to say no, then it sounds like your intuition is speaking up. It’s ok to move past one opportunity to make space for the one you really have your eye on.
Over-committing.
There are only so many hours in a day and we all have a trillion things on our to-do list. Go easy on yourself. If you’re presented with an invitation or proposition that makes your throat begin to close thinking about it because you already have enough on your plate – that’s a sign to say “no thank you”. We’re only human – we can’t do it all.
Following people on social media that bug you.
If you find that an individual or business bugs the hell out of you when you see their content, go to their handle, click unfollow and go have a great day. There is no point following someone that irks you or makes you feel insecure or less than. We are so over-inundated by social media that we need to take accountability as to what we allow ourselves to have in our newsfeed. Think of your social media handles as space for you to see/read things that add positivity to your day, not aggravation. The rule applies to us: if we bug ya, unfollow us. Peace be with you.
Putting ourselves down & self-doubt.
Every day we wake up and try our hardest to do and be our best. Some days we are better versions of ourselves than other days and it’s on those off days that we really beat ourselves up and over think. Due to this, self-love and compassion are imperative. Be nice to you.
Worrying about the things you can not control.
Balance and moderation come to mind when I think of worrying. Yes, there are some things that we naturally worry about, but when it comes to a point where it is all consuming and the levels of stress have hit an all-time high, maybe then it’s time to take a step back to breathe, reassess the worry, and sort out a balance between worry and living life.
Our dean in high school would end all announcements with:
“As in all things ladies and gentlemen, moderation.”
I think he was on to something.
Caring what people think or say about you.
I’ve had my fair share of caring too much about what people think or say about me. I’ve cried too many times over the thoughts and words of other people I have zero control over. And when I think about it that way, I remind myself to stop giving on flying you know what. There is no doubt that this one takes a lot of practice, however, the end results are so fulfilling and freeing. Trust as the saying goes:
What other people think about you is none of your business.
Toxic people.
This is one and the same as unfollowing handles on social media that do not bring you joy. (Shout out to Marie Kondo!) Whether it’s breaking up with that person or taking a little vacation from them, it’s a good idea to make as small of space for toxic people in our lives as possible. This allows more space for positive humans that bring you up!
Ask yourself these two questions:
What are you working on saying no to?
What do you want to start saying yes to?!
Write it down, say it out loud so the universe can hear ya! Once you start saying no, you are going to make space for so much more yes! You’ll begin to see how your life starts turning into what you want it to be.
You’ll no longer be on autopilot, but 100% in the driver’s seat of your own destination. You got this.
Leave a Reply