Last Thursday I decided to go for a walk to get some fresh air after many, many hours of caring for our dying mother. As I walked back to June’s house, I watched as three women and a little girl got out of a car with grocery bags in hand and somberly headed into the house. I knew exactly who it was from afar because that is what we do during these times. We gather.
It hit me, it was really all happening. Everyone was coming to see June one last time.
This was it.
For three full days, loved ones trickled in and out of June’s home – just as they always had done in the past. They came to say goodbye and many stayed to lend their strength and support. There was so much energy of love that it’s still hard to believe it was all bottled up under one roof – but it was and it was all for June.
We saged, we prayed, we cried and we laughed. We gave June everything we had in us.
Not for a moment did I wish this wasn’t happening. I was ready for it. June was ready too. She was calling the shots and we were there to help usher her along the way. As our dear friend, Sara, so poetically put it, our mom was fighting her way back to freedom and we were all there to help see to it that she did so gracefully and with dignity. And she did.
Throughout this three day ordeal, there was this profound presence of feminine energy – it was almost primal, certainly tribal. Just as humans labor a birth, we labored a death. At times it was scary – but oh so beautiful too. With the help of her caregivers, Flora and Zina, to help soothe her, along with the guidance and unwavering support of her supreme friend, Lee – June was in the best of hands. These three women – they were June’s constants and companions and they are superwomen, my added strength.
This experience will forever remain one of the most profound moments of my life. My mother brought me into this crazy, beautiful world, and having had the opportunity to help guide her thru to the end was a gift of maternal magnitude that cannot be measured.
Late Friday night while a pink full moon hovered over her home, her bedroom fell quiet. June passed away as her tribe was gathered and huddled all around her. She was finally set free. She was surrounded by so much love, energy, and human touch and sound that I know, regardless of her condition, she sensed us in every way possible.
My heart aches, my belly hurts and my eyes burn. I miss the woman my mother was, but I cherish the journey I was able to join her on. As I continue this life without June’s physical presence, I will carry the strength she embodied until the very end, deep within my heart.
The night before she left this little planet, I slept in bed with June and her dog, Norman. Those two hours were just what June and I needed as our earthly mother and daughter experience came to a close.
I will miss you my beautiful mom, but I am so happy and excited for you. Have fun, be free, sunbathe all you want. You are in my heart forever and ever and ever. Thank you for being my mom, June. I love you.