Whoa, it’s been a minute since I did a Cozy Catch-Up. I’m excited to be writing!
In fact, it’s still dark outside, the baby is asleep, and I have myself a really nice, hot cup of coffee. No complaints. And now I totally get why moms love the early hours before anyone else rises, it is quite nice.
This time last year I was just finding out that I was pregnant – what a difference a year makes. It was our third round of IVF; by then, I had harvested forty-three eggs, 43! Out of all of those eggs and three embryos, one embryo took. Baby Lune June. Sometimes I look at her and think:
Wow, you truly were made in a lab by a bunch of really smart and persistent doctors that weren’t going to give up. They worked hard to make us our baby and so did we.
And now we have our little Luna June. Goddess bless.
Being a 40-year-old mom is funny especially when so many moms the same age have kids that can feed themselves and not need their butts wiped. I am definitely more patient than I was in my 20s and over the years I’ve grown more compassionate to the needs of others.
Honestly, I think 40 was the perfect time for me to have my baby.
Before having a baby, I was very good at tending to my self-care and my own needs of well-being. That changes a bunch when a baby is thrown into the mix.
With this in mind, I have created a list of non-negotiables, if you will, when it comes to my needs.
I call this my Mom Hygge.
These are things I need to do for myself to keep myself feeling good mentally and physically.
Getting outside for a walk. I will bundle my baby and myself up for some crisp air strolls because exercise and fresh air are good for my mind and body. This is one of my favorite must-dos.
My nails! I like to say, everything can be going to shit, but if your nails are manicured, at least you’ve got that going for you. And it’s true.
Exercise at least four times a week. We recently got the Peloton bike which is not something I thought we would get, but it is a game-changer! In 20 minutes I can burn some calories, get a sweat going, and move my body.
Close my eyes and take a few, deep, mindful breaths. Doing this gets me in my body when some days I can feel a little discombobulated and all over the place. Plus my tarot card reader told me that I NEED to meditate more.
Say nice things to me. This may be the most important one on the list. It is so easy for our brains to talk crap to ourselves, to remind us of everything we didn’t get done, to compare our bodies to the before times, to treat ourselves less than. Every day, I say to myself, I love you and I am damn proud of you! You’re trying your best – keep it up.
Talk to and see people I love. Community and communication are key when it comes to hygge and being a new mom. There is nothing cozy about feeling lonely, so I text, call, and make plans to see those I love. This goes for the time spent with Anthony as well. I make it a point to connect with him and keep up with the healthy relationship habits we incorporated into our lives prior to baby.
Nourish my body from the inside out. This comes by way of the food I eat, the green tea and water I drink, and the lotions and potions I put on my face and body. Like they say, your body is your temple.
Embrace the change of seasons in my home. Both the literal seasons and the seasons of life. These days when I pull out the holiday decor and light my white pillar candles, I am also finding the perfect spot for Luna’s baby swing. Candles are my love language during the fall/winter months and soup is always on the stove. We have a small, beautiful city home which I love to make extra cozy this time of year.
These seem like easy things to get done, but now that I have a baby, I realize it takes commitment and savvy time management skills. I am grateful for my family (Dad, Debby, Candy, and Jan) that help with Luna throughout the week so I can work on The Sister Project and on myself.
I’m also so thankful to my biz partner and sister, Michelle. She’s a mom and she gets that I am squeezing in work between naps and feedings. And if my eyes can stay open, as much as I can get done at night time.
But again, it’s imperative that I don’t work myself dead tired, or else what good am I? If I learned anything from having a sick mom for several years (and I learned A LOT) you can’t put all of your love and energy into one person or thing, you also need to put love and energy into yourself.
I know that may sound selfish, but I’m a huge proponent of self-care. Well, that and asking for help. We recently had our life coach, Aviva Brill, on the podcast and we covered unique ways to ask for help. Something a lot of us find difficult to do.
It’s ok to take care of you and to ask someone for a hand. Each one of us is only human, not superhuman…just human. And whether you’re a mom or not, we all have a lot on our plate.
This holiday season I wish for you time spent tending to your needs. Time spent with the people you love. And time spent doing what YOU want to do. We only have this one life…you do you.
Happy Holidays, dear reader. I hope it is happy, healthy, and cozy.
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