Hey, you. I hope you’re all cozied up while reading this. Let’s catch up.
Luna and Postpartum Therapy
Luna loves Charlie Brown’s Christmas. It’s like Pavlov’s dog. The moment Vince Guaraldi’s music plays, Luna is mesmerized. Oftentimes, it lulls her to sleep. Knowing this, I often play Spotify’s Peaceful Christmas Guitar playlist while on our walks. It’s the perfect kind of music for a baby’s first holiday season.
For the past five and a half months, we haven’t had any schedule. More so winging it based on Luna’s needs and wants. That is until this past Friday. After chatting with a few friends and Michelle, we decided to begin a bit of a nap schedule. I’m realizing quickly this benefits both mom and baby.
Her legs are so strong. She often pushes into my lap so she can “stand” while I help hold her up. Little giggles are happening more often, and her smile lights up my world.
She’s a happy baby and a good burper. I love her more than I knew I could possibly love anything.
Luna June is truly the gift that keeps on giving. My sweet little baby.
I am pooped, feeling slightly burnt out, and cannot wait for a holiday breather that is right around the corner. Thank goodness.
Working with a baby is really hard. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed when it comes to my to-do list, both my personal and work. When combined it feels like a mountain of work on top of all the “work” I do to keep Luna feeling fed, rested, and taken care of.
Postpartum therapy has helped immensely when it comes to feelings of overwhelm and thoughts of:
Am I doing enough?
Am I enough?
How can I best get acquainted with this new version of myself?
Last week I had one of those sessions when you feel like, holy shit, this is actually working.
Sara, my therapist, holds space for me to share all my new mom feelings, and trust me, there are a lot! Tons. So many. Some I didn’t even know I had.
In our most recent conversation, we discussed how much more space in my brain I’ve had to make to learn how to care for my baby. After acknowledging this, she gently reminded me how much I do in a day when I shared that I worry I’m not getting enough done daily.
I believe due to our society and the ways in which we measure “success”, being a mom and doing the things moms do to maintain and manage a household don’t get as much praise and acknowledgment as would, say, becoming CEO of a major corporation.
Isn’t that weird? Why is it that our society is so wired to view success based on what is in your bank account, your title, and how much public praise one gets?
I suppose I’ve always been chasing success so now that I have to slow down a bit professionally to raise my baby, my views of success are changing drastically. Or rather should I say, my views of what success can also look like have shifted greatly.
We put such immense pressure on ourselves, I know I do. In therapy, I am working on being kinder to myself and more thoughtful in how I talk to and about myself.
Every day it’s an effort to acknowledge that I am doing my absolute best, the best that I can do.
Life changes enormously when a baby comes into the world. I am still the Lauren I was before she was born, but I’m a different version of myself. How the hospital doesn’t send you home with your baby AND a therapy appointment is beyond my comprehension.
Speaking of therapy, if you have not yet watched the documentary, Stutz, on Netflix by Jonah Hill, I highly highly recommend you do so. Free therapy for all.
In a country where our mental healthcare system is very questionable, I would take Jonah and his therapist up on the offer. It may inspire you to get more if needed.
Other than navigating life with a baby and postpartum care, I am here for the holidays!
I love adding magic to the season for baby Luna June and am thrilled that we get to play Santa.
We have a fake tree in our home, so I took Luna for a stroll through a Christmas tree lot so she can see and smell the beautiful pine trees.
Our home’s renovation is alllllllmost finished. My goodness does this stuff take forever. But even with the unfinished business, our home is extra cozy.
I have white pillar candles lit from morning to night and often have a stovetop simmer of cinnamon, cloves, and allspice filling the house with warm smells.
As I look around from where I write, I see an empty bottle, a used coffee mug with no coffee in it (I actually finished the entire cup which doesn’t always happen), stacks of books I long to read, a Christmas cactus I need to pot, bows I need to add to my garland, and just to my right I see what matters most.
Anthony feeding Luna. My little family.
Each one of us doing our best.
I’m proud of us.
I’m proud of me.
(My therapist would be proud of me for writing that and that makes me happy too.)
Wishing you a cozy week ahead, be well.
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